Choosing An Adoption Consultant

Are you investigating different consulting companies, trying to decide which is the best fit for you? Here are some things to consider:

There is not one right direction that you must take.

I like to compare this loosely to choosing a church to be a part of. There is not only one church that is good or worth attending (praise God)! There are some non-negotiables that you want to ensure your church has and some red flags to avoid. But, each church has a different vibe as well as their own strengths and weaknesses, and you need to find the one that is the best fit for you. What you’re looking for might be different than what your friend is seeking, and that’s ok! If a consulting company says they are the best out there, that’s questionable because there isn’t just one right/best consulting group.

The total amount of money you spend can vary drastically from company to company.

I’m not talking specifically about the fee you pay to sign on with the consultant, but about what comes next. Did you know…

• In addition to the fee you pay to sign on with the consultant, some companies recommend you pay additional application fees to a handful of agencies (with each application fee ranging from hundreds to thousands). Even if you applied to five agencies that each had a $300 application fee, that’s $1500 that you’re spending just on application fees alone. But in reality, you’re likely paying several thousands just in agency applications with that approach. (While there are other consulting companies that regularly send you adoption situations from agencies that initially waive any application fees!)

• Some companies point you to agencies whose total fees are all averaging in the $70K range. (While there are some adoption agencies that have fees that high, not all agencies do and it’s not necessary for you to pay that high of an agency fee to adopt.)

Different companies have different practices.

For example…

• Some companies won’t give out the stats you ask for about how spread thin they actually are; some consultants aren’t even allowed to tell you how many families they are currently working with! 

• In the consulting world, you will find some companies that are highly formulaic with not a lot of personal contact; the majority of their emails are canned, and the adoption situations they send all are being database-driven (not individualized). 

• There are some consulting companies that regularly forward adoption situations to you from agencies so that you don’t need to pay additional app fees to present to expectant mothers, while others rarely have situations to forward on. 

• Some consultants don’t allow you to specify what you’re open to regarding gender, ethnicity, and openness level, while others allow you to decide what your family feels comfortable with. 

• Additionally, some consulting companies send you situations but don’t tell you what agency those situations are coming from or many details involved, while others disclose what agency sent the situation and the shared information is provided.

• Some companies have goals to work with as many families as possible per year while others limit the amount of families they will work with at once to provide more individualized attention.

• Seeing families matched as quickly as possible is at the heart of some consulting groups, while others strive to equip you for an ethical adoption.

Ok, but now what?

Just like every Christian decides which church is the best fit for them, every hopeful adoptive parent looking into consultants must ultimately determine which consulting company is the best fit for them. There is no rush; take your time while you gather information. And pray! God loves to give us wisdom as we ask Him. He will be faithful to direct you to the place that will ultimately be right for you.

Don't Hesitate To Reach Out!

I'd love to share with you more about what The Joyful Adoption has to offer you to see if we are what you're looking for. Reach out at any point (katie@thejoyfuladoption.com), and we can schedule a free consultation call.

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Adoption Education Matters

 

Did you know that every state requires a different number of education hours for adoptive parents? While some states require 10 hours or more, others have very minimal requirements. Can you imagine getting ready to jump into one of the most important journeys of your life without being thoroughly equipped? You and your child deserve better. Enter, The Joyful Adoption!

At Joyful, we believe that having an adoption rooted in the joy of the Lord begins with supportive education. We have developed critical educational opportunities to assist families as they prepare to adopt. From our one-of-a-kind step-by-step adoption guide, to educational learning modules, to conversation connections with a birth mama and adult adoptees, to detailed assistance from our funding specialist, to a private online community of other adoptive families, to our personalized one-on-one support, we will diligently prepare you. We will also point you to a variety of additional phenomenal resources within the adoption world.

One of the most encouraging compliments that we frequently receive is from agencies, thanking us for preparing our families so well! Don't settle for working with an adoption entity that doesn't thoroughly equip you.  We would love to help you!

If you would like to learn more about the process of domestic adoption, please contact me at katie@thejoyfuladoption.com.

 

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Adoption Costs

 

The number one hesitation that I hear from families considering adoption is the financial aspect. It simply seems insurmountable. How can anyone afford adoption? 

How Does Joyful's Funding Specialist Help?

At The Joyful Adoption, we understand firsthand the challenge that this aspect of the process can bring. That's why we provide you with a funding specialist to help you connect with grants, loans, and fundraisers that are a good fit for you. We will listen to your specific story and the details of your financial circumstances, discuss strategic tips for grant writing, recommend grant opportunities that best match your situation, and suggest fundraisers and loans as well. 

What Kind Of Financial Assistance Is Out There?

1) A Matching Grant (This type of grant provides you with a dollar-for-dollar match; when someone donates money to your adoption through the tax-deductible grant platform, the grant org matches the amount, typically ranging from 3-6K thus often helping you raise 6K-12K or more!)

2) Outright Grants (These grants are a set amount. Some will only allow families who are matched to apply while others will work with any family who has already completed a home study.)

3) Loans (There are specific adoption loans with a variety of interest levels available. There are also standard loans from your bank.)

4) Fundraisers (There are incredible adoption fundraisers for Christian families. I have had families raise over 40K through one amazing fundraiser in particular!)

Tell Me More About Grants!

Will anyone who applies for a grant get one? Not exactly. There are many factors that a grant organization considers including (but not limited to) the number of applicants, the number of available funds, the debt a family has, the cost of living in your area, the specific factors leading to the current savings you have, the effort you've already put into your fundraising, any money you've already lost in your journey to parenthood, etc. Typically, families who make over 150K a year will have a tougher time receiving grants, though there are still some out there that will consider you and we have had Joyful families who make over that amount receive a grant. Other grants will start to cap around the 130K mark. For families who make under that, there are many grant opportunities available. Most grant applications require writing detailed essays and providing thorough information about your finances. It's not a cookie-cutter process; that's why Joyful loves to tailor the conversation to your personal story. 

How Can I Learn More?

I would love to discuss any further questions you may have about adoption funding. I have seen in my own family as well as in the lives of hundreds of other families that there are many resources available to Christians pursuing adoption. Don't hesitate to reach out to me at katie@thejoyfuladoption.com to schedule a phone call!

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Should You Start The Adoption Process in 2025?

 

Is adoption something you’ve wanted to be a part of but haven’t been sure when and how? Has the Lord been drawing you towards becoming an adoptive parent? If so, you might be wondering if 2025 is the year for you to jump into the process. Is this the right time? How will you know for sure?

While I wish that I had the ability to confidently tell you what you should do, no human can tell you if it’s the right time to adopt. That is ultimately between you and the Lord. Thankfully, He really does love to guide and direct His children! 

Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” God wants us to come to Him. He wants to give us mercy and grace. He wants to help us in our time of need. Right now, if you need His direction, draw near to Him in prayer and ask Him for help. You can confidently trust that He will give you grace!

Yet, receiving His mercy and grace to help in time of need doesn’t necessarily mean that He’s going to make the answer you’re waiting for crystal clear. Even after asking Him to lead, we’re often left to use wisdom as we make decisions in this lifetime. But I’ve got good news for you– even while we need to use wisdom, God is eager to help provide it. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” The wisdom that you need in order to decide if 2025 if the year for you to step into the adoption process will be given to you by God. What does that look like?

When my husband and I were praying about when to start our first adoption, I so badly wanted a big flashing neon sign saying, “NOW!” I wanted God to show us in an unmistakable way that it was the right time for us to start the process. I didn’t want to make the wrong decision (especially as we didn’t even have enough saved to complete our home study and it was an enormous leap of faith financially). We did come to His throne of grace. We did ask for His help and for His wisdom. And He did provide it. But it didn’t come through something flashy. It was more like a quiet confidence He provided as we asked Him to lead us. 

As we filled out paperwork with our adoption consultant, I panicked and asked my husband, “Wait! How do we know for sure that this is the right time?” I’ll never forget His answer. “We’ve gathered information and prayed and talked and sought counsel from important people in our lives. Each step we’ve taken has led us to continue. This is another step of faith, but as best as we can tell, it seems like this is where God is directing us.”

Sometimes, God does give a really obvious and resounding “NOW!” as you ask Him for wisdom. I’ve seen that come for couples through an anonymous check in the mail for exactly what they need to start their process. I’ve seen that wisdom come through couples bumping into adoptive families who all use the same consultant. I’ve seen the wisdom come through couples hearing sermons at church that God uses to assure them in their decision. I’ve seen it come through the Holy Spirit leading people to specific scriptures that are exactly what they need in that moment. There isn’t a “one size fits all” way that God gives wisdom to us as we ask, but He is faithful to give it. 

If you’re praying about if 2025 is the year that God wants you to begin your adoption journey, I would love to join you! Please don’t hesitate to reach out so that I can pray for you by name as you’re asking God for wisdom.

(Photo credit: alyssasieb)

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Adoption Encouragement: How To Find Joy, Peace, And Hope This New Year

As you reflect on 2024, there is likely a combination of precious memories that you want to hold onto and heartbreak that you’d like to forget. Maybe last year was more bitter for you than sweet. Maybe it was downright gut-wrenching. Is it even possible to walk into the unknowns of 2025 with joy, peace, and hope? Scripture answers with a resounding, “Yes!”

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

How? How can we go into this new year with joy, hope, and peace when life can be so hard? Let’s start by looking where Romans 15:13 begins: with the God of hope.

This is the way our great God is described; He is “the God of hope.” The joy and peace that we long for will never be found in today’s circumstances but instead in the God of hope. He is where we have to begin if we want real hope.

What exactly is this hope? Pastor John Piper has described Biblical hope as “a confident expectation and desire for something good in the future.” This hope is not an optimistic attitude or wishful thinking or manifesting what you want. This kind of hope is a Holy Spirit-empowered faith that God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. This kind of hope is the confidence that God’s promises will be kept. Sometimes, we want that to mean that our life will be easy or that we’ll get whatever we want when we want it, or that things will turn out the way we’d like them to. But those aren't things He's promised us. What He has promised is something lasting; we have a sure and certain hope that through Jesus’s death and resurrection, we can be forgiven and spend eternity forever with Him! There is something better coming than we can ever imagine!

While none of us knows exactly what this year will bring, as Christians, we do know what is ultimately coming. We can confidently expect that our eternal future will be filled with the goodness of being with Jesus forever! As the old hymn says, “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.” Our hope is not in what happens to us this year or what we can accomplish. Our hope is in Jesus. 

Romans 15:13 also tells us that the God of hope is the One that can fill us with joy and peace. That means it's actually possible to have joy and peace, even when things can be hard. This isn’t something we can make happen in our hearts on our own. It is not by our power, but by His Spirit that we can abound in hope. How? Through believing.

Life is filled with ups and downs, beautiful highs, and devastating lows. Few things are unshakable or certain (especially in adoption). Will you be chosen by an expectant mama this year? Will you experience a failed adoption? Will you welcome a little one into your home? Will you gather the funds that you need? Will your wait finally be over?

Not one of us knows exactly what this year will bring, but we do know this: there is a God of hope ready to fill us with all joy and peace in believing, and by His power, we can abound in hope!

Father, You are the God of hope. We want to abound in hope this year. We want to have joy and peace in believing. Help us stop looking for hope in our circumstances. Help us look to You for the hope we long for. Whatever this year holds, we know that we have an incredible future. One day, we will see Jesus face to face where there will be no more pain or suffering. Help us live with the hope of that promise. Give us the joy and peace that comes from You alone. Amen.

(Photo by Kelly Sikkema)

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Adoption Heartbreak at Christmas

 

(Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash)

What do you do when adoption heartbreak envelops you at Christmastime? Whether you find yourself in an unexpected ongoing season of empty arms, are walking through a prolonged wait, or have experienced an adoption that didn't work out the way you hoped, Christmastime can magnify the sting of suffering. Whatever was already hurting seems to hurt more in a season that presents itself as "merry" and "bright," especially when you feel the opposite.

If that's the difficult path you're currently on, pretend with me for a moment that we're sitting down together with hot drinks, ignoring the hustle and bustle around us, and you've just shared with me the heavy weight on your heart. In this moment, where it's clear that no words can really make this all better, I want to compassionately point you to the God of all comfort. Scripture calls Him, "the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction..." (2 Corinthians 1:3). Mercy. Comfort. That's what He offers you this season and what He offers is so very different than what the rest of the world does.

Well-meaning people may attempt to help but leave you feeling more isolated and more hurt. Even a spouse who wants to understand can't fully grasp what it's like for you to uniquely process these challenging circumstances. But the Father of mercies and God of all comfort knows your heart. He knows your pain. He sees and He knows and He is right here with you, wanting to comfort you in all your affliction. The Father of mercies and God of all comfort isn't frowning at you, telling you to get it together and be happy this Christmas. He isn't expecting you to pretend everything is fine or ignore that this isn't how it's supposed to be. He is telling you that He is with you and that He is your comforter. 

In Isaiah 41:10 we hear God's heart for us: "fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Even now, He is ready to help you and with you. He is with you, upholding you.

This Christmas, let's remember that Jesus came and entered our world as a baby in Bethlehem. He came into the darkness of sin and suffering as the Light of the World. That baby took on flesh, grew up, and paid the price for our sins on the cross. In our desperation and sadness, He made way for hope; He gave us the promise that we can be made right with God, and one day, He will wipe away every tear from our eyes as we see Him face to face. He carried our griefs and sorrows. By His wounds we are healed (Isaiah 53). There will come a day when all things will be made new and the brokenness and sorrow of this world will be a distant memory as we spend forever in eternity with no more sorrow, no more tears. 

But until that day, while you stumble brokenhearted through this Christmas season, look to your Father of mercies. He is the God of all comfort. He is with you.

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Feeling Lost In The Adoption Process

 

The number of decisions involved in the adoption process can make you feel overwhelmed. Where do you start? How do you choose a home study provider? Should you stick with one local agency or widen your reach by applying to multiple agencies? What are realistic expectations to have about your timeline? How can you afford to adopt? Ask anyone who has ever considered adoption, and they will likely tell you they know what it's like to feel lost along the way. 

First, I want to encourage you that this is a really common experience for anyone who has begun the adoption process. A mix of being overwhelmed and excited is very normal. Next, I want to encourage you to take your heart to our Father, who compassionately cares for us; pour out all of your cares to Him because He cares for you!

If you're feeling lost as you consider adoption, I want to encourage you to reach out to an Adoption Consultant. One of the greatest benefits to working with an Adoption Consultant is decreasing that sense of overwhelm. You don't have to walk through this complex process by yourself, feeling like you're drowning in details and questions. I would love to answer your questions, hear your heart, and talk with you about the benefits of working with an Adoption Consultant for your journey. Having an adoption professional on your side who has been through the process personally and also walked hundreds of couples through the journey makes all the difference. You don't have to feel lost and overwhelmed. 

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