Should You Start The Adoption Process in 2025?

 

Is adoption something you’ve wanted to be a part of but haven’t been sure when and how? Has the Lord been drawing you towards becoming an adoptive parent? If so, you might be wondering if 2025 is the year for you to jump into the process. Is this the right time? How will you know for sure?

While I wish that I had the ability to confidently tell you what you should do, no human can tell you if it’s the right time to adopt. That is ultimately between you and the Lord. Thankfully, He really does love to guide and direct His children! 

Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” God wants us to come to Him. He wants to give us mercy and grace. He wants to help us in our time of need. Right now, if you need His direction, draw near to Him in prayer and ask Him for help. You can confidently trust that He will give you grace!

Yet, receiving His mercy and grace to help in time of need doesn’t necessarily mean that He’s going to make the answer you’re waiting for crystal clear. Even after asking Him to lead, we’re often left to use wisdom as we make decisions in this lifetime. But I’ve got good news for you– even while we need to use wisdom, God is eager to help provide it. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” The wisdom that you need in order to decide if 2025 if the year for you to step into the adoption process will be given to you by God. What does that look like?

When my husband and I were praying about when to start our first adoption, I so badly wanted a big flashing neon sign saying, “NOW!” I wanted God to show us in an unmistakable way that it was the right time for us to start the process. I didn’t want to make the wrong decision (especially as we didn’t even have enough saved to complete our home study and it was an enormous leap of faith financially). We did come to His throne of grace. We did ask for His help and for His wisdom. And He did provide it. But it didn’t come through something flashy. It was more like a quiet confidence He provided as we asked Him to lead us. 

As we filled out paperwork with our adoption consultant, I panicked and asked my husband, “Wait! How do we know for sure that this is the right time?” I’ll never forget His answer. “We’ve gathered information and prayed and talked and sought counsel from important people in our lives. Each step we’ve taken has led us to continue. This is another step of faith, but as best as we can tell, it seems like this is where God is directing us.”

Sometimes, God does give a really obvious and resounding “NOW!” as you ask Him for wisdom. I’ve seen that come for couples through an anonymous check in the mail for exactly what they need to start their process. I’ve seen that wisdom come through couples bumping into adoptive families who all use the same consultant. I’ve seen the wisdom come through couples hearing sermons at church that God uses to assure them in their decision. I’ve seen it come through the Holy Spirit leading people to specific scriptures that are exactly what they need in that moment. There isn’t a “one size fits all” way that God gives wisdom to us as we ask, but He is faithful to give it. 

If you’re praying about if 2025 is the year that God wants you to begin your adoption journey, I would love to join you! Please don’t hesitate to reach out so that I can pray for you by name as you’re asking God for wisdom.

(Photo credit: alyssasieb)

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Adoption Encouragement: How To Find Joy, Peace, And Hope This New Year

As you reflect on 2024, there is likely a combination of precious memories that you want to hold onto and heartbreak that you’d like to forget. Maybe last year was more bitter for you than sweet. Maybe it was downright gut-wrenching. Is it even possible to walk into the unknowns of 2025 with joy, peace, and hope? Scripture answers with a resounding, “Yes!”

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

How? How can we go into this new year with joy, hope, and peace when life can be so hard? Let’s start by looking where Romans 15:13 begins: with the God of hope.

This is the way our great God is described; He is “the God of hope.” The joy and peace that we long for will never be found in today’s circumstances but instead in the God of hope. He is where we have to begin if we want real hope.

What exactly is this hope? Pastor John Piper has described Biblical hope as “a confident expectation and desire for something good in the future.” This hope is not an optimistic attitude or wishful thinking or manifesting what you want. This kind of hope is a Holy Spirit-empowered faith that God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. This kind of hope is the confidence that God’s promises will be kept. Sometimes, we want that to mean that our life will be easy or that we’ll get whatever we want when we want it, or that things will turn out the way we’d like them to. But those aren't things He's promised us. What He has promised is something lasting; we have a sure and certain hope that through Jesus’s death and resurrection, we can be forgiven and spend eternity forever with Him! There is something better coming than we can ever imagine!

While none of us knows exactly what this year will bring, as Christians, we do know what is ultimately coming. We can confidently expect that our eternal future will be filled with the goodness of being with Jesus forever! As the old hymn says, “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.” Our hope is not in what happens to us this year or what we can accomplish. Our hope is in Jesus. 

Romans 15:13 also tells us that the God of hope is the One that can fill us with joy and peace. That means it's actually possible to have joy and peace, even when things can be hard. This isn’t something we can make happen in our hearts on our own. It is not by our power, but by His Spirit that we can abound in hope. How? Through believing.

Life is filled with ups and downs, beautiful highs, and devastating lows. Few things are unshakable or certain (especially in adoption). Will you be chosen by an expectant mama this year? Will you experience a failed adoption? Will you welcome a little one into your home? Will you gather the funds that you need? Will your wait finally be over?

Not one of us knows exactly what this year will bring, but we do know this: there is a God of hope ready to fill us with all joy and peace in believing, and by His power, we can abound in hope!

Father, You are the God of hope. We want to abound in hope this year. We want to have joy and peace in believing. Help us stop looking for hope in our circumstances. Help us look to You for the hope we long for. Whatever this year holds, we know that we have an incredible future. One day, we will see Jesus face to face where there will be no more pain or suffering. Help us live with the hope of that promise. Give us the joy and peace that comes from You alone. Amen.

(Photo by Kelly Sikkema)

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Adoption Heartbreak at Christmas

 

(Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash)

What do you do when adoption heartbreak envelops you at Christmastime? Whether you find yourself in an unexpected ongoing season of empty arms, are walking through a prolonged wait, or have experienced an adoption that didn't work out the way you hoped, Christmastime can magnify the sting of suffering. Whatever was already hurting seems to hurt more in a season that presents itself as "merry" and "bright," especially when you feel the opposite.

If that's the difficult path you're currently on, pretend with me for a moment that we're sitting down together with hot drinks, ignoring the hustle and bustle around us, and you've just shared with me the heavy weight on your heart. In this moment, where it's clear that no words can really make this all better, I want to compassionately point you to the God of all comfort. Scripture calls Him, "the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction..." (2 Corinthians 1:3). Mercy. Comfort. That's what He offers you this season and what He offers is so very different than what the rest of the world does.

Well-meaning people may attempt to help but leave you feeling more isolated and more hurt. Even a spouse who wants to understand can't fully grasp what it's like for you to uniquely process these challenging circumstances. But the Father of mercies and God of all comfort knows your heart. He knows your pain. He sees and He knows and He is right here with you, wanting to comfort you in all your affliction. The Father of mercies and God of all comfort isn't frowning at you, telling you to get it together and be happy this Christmas. He isn't expecting you to pretend everything is fine or ignore that this isn't how it's supposed to be. He is telling you that He is with you and that He is your comforter. 

In Isaiah 41:10 we hear God's heart for us: "fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Even now, He is ready to help you and with you. He is with you, upholding you.

This Christmas, let's remember that Jesus came and entered our world as a baby in Bethlehem. He came into the darkness of sin and suffering as the Light of the World. That baby took on flesh, grew up, and paid the price for our sins on the cross. In our desperation and sadness, He made way for hope; He gave us the promise that we can be made right with God, and one day, He will wipe away every tear from our eyes as we see Him face to face. He carried our griefs and sorrows. By His wounds we are healed (Isaiah 53). There will come a day when all things will be made new and the brokenness and sorrow of this world will be a distant memory as we spend forever in eternity with no more sorrow, no more tears. 

But until that day, while you stumble brokenhearted through this Christmas season, look to your Father of mercies. He is the God of all comfort. He is with you.

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Feeling Lost In The Adoption Process

 

The number of decisions involved in the adoption process can make you feel overwhelmed. Where do you start? How do you choose a home study provider? Should you stick with one local agency or widen your reach by applying to multiple agencies? What are realistic expectations to have about your timeline? How can you afford to adopt? Ask anyone who has ever considered adoption, and they will likely tell you they know what it's like to feel lost along the way. 

First, I want to encourage you that this is a really common experience for anyone who has begun the adoption process. A mix of being overwhelmed and excited is very normal. Next, I want to encourage you to take your heart to our Father, who compassionately cares for us; pour out all of your cares to Him because He cares for you!

If you're feeling lost as you consider adoption, I want to encourage you to reach out to an Adoption Consultant. One of the greatest benefits to working with an Adoption Consultant is decreasing that sense of overwhelm. You don't have to walk through this complex process by yourself, feeling like you're drowning in details and questions. I would love to answer your questions, hear your heart, and talk with you about the benefits of working with an Adoption Consultant for your journey. Having an adoption professional on your side who has been through the process personally and also walked hundreds of couples through the journey makes all the difference. You don't have to feel lost and overwhelmed. 

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How Does Someone Afford Adoption?

 

We had many questions and fears when we began considering adoption. We thank God that those obstacles didn't keep us from the gift of our sweet little boy! But those fears and questions matter-they shouldn't be ignored.  It's important to think through your fears and examine them. As an Adoption Consultant, one of the main concerns I hear from couples considering adoption is the issue of money; how can someone afford to adopt?

This concern is pretty understandable. Adoption is so expensive! Agency fees alone can be between 40-60K and that does not include the costs of getting a home study, consultant fees, or travel fees. If you've had the desire to adopt but feel like there's no possible way you could afford it, you're not alone.  In fact, the majority of adoptive couples have thought that very same thing. My husband, Josh, and I definitely wondered how we would afford adoption before we started our journey. Like most couples considering adoption, we did not have the money saved and ready to go when we started or any idea exactly how we would get it.

I could tell you all about tons of grants available, interest free adoption loans, adoption fundraisers and other ways to fund adoption. I could tell you about the amazing friends and family and strangers that came alongside us. I could tell you about our adoption consultant who pointed us to helpful resources. I could tell you about the hundreds of families I've seen God provide for as I've guided them in their adoption journey as their consultant.

But if you aren't moving towards adoption because you believe you could never afford it, there's probably something bigger going on than just your financial situation. The heart behind this fear isn't mainly financial in nature: I think this is often an issue of priorities and faith.

We spend money on what we prioritize.  Those of us who are concerned about adoption finances aren't usually found saying, "I want to go on a vacation someday but I can't afford it," or "I'd love a car but I can't afford it," or "I wish I could go to college but I just could never put together the finances." It's a rare thing for me to hear someone worried about adoption finances say, "I always wanted to buy a house but I could never afford one." These things are all very expensive, but we don't let that keep us from them.  

We find a way to do what matters to us.  We plan, we save, we take out loans, we work an extra job, we ask people for help, we trim our budget, we do whatever we have to do to find a way to fund what we care about. Why would we let fear of how the money will come in keep us from pursuing something way more valuable than a house or a car?  

This is a hard word to hear but I think it's important to consider. It is possible that this holdup is about something other than your finances? We look at the financial expense of adoption and think of it solely in terms of what WE can accomplish. We don't have enough money. How could we ever afford it? But if you're a Christian then your life is not your own-it belongs to Him.

"he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised." 2 Corinthians 5:15

You have a God who owns everything-including all the money in the world. 

"The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the Lord of hosts." Haggai 2:8

It all belongs to Him and He is in charge of it. You have a Father who loves His children. You have a Creator who gave everything that you might be adopted into His family! 

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." 1 John 3:1

He loves adoption and He loves to provide for adoption! He will make a way to fund what He calls you to.

Beyond those things, there is a sure and certain hope that we have of God's commitment to us because of the Cross. If you are a Christian, then God has met your greatest need at the Cross. God sent His Son, Jesus, to die in your place, taking the punishment that you deserved because of your sins. He is such a wildly generous and gracious God!

"He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:32

Does this mean that God will give each of His children money for whatever they want? No. That's not the point of the truths I shared, and that would be grossly misinterpreting Scripture. I'm not saying you should jump right in and start the process without a dime to your name or that God's going to drop thousands of dollars in your lap the second you move forward. If you are deep in debt, without a job, or unable to make ends meet currently, then this is not the right time for you to adopt. But if you're in a stable financial spot and your only hold up to pursuing adoption is that you don't know how you can afford it, I want to challenge you to take that fear to the Lord. God is far more generous than we give Him credit for. Is He asking you take a step forward and trust Him? 

We began our homestudy with only a little over a thousand dollars saved.  We stand in awe at God's faithfulness to provide for our own family's adoption! 

If God is stirring your heart to consider adoption, don't stay paralyzed by your fears about finances. Don't let the fear that you could never afford adoption keep you from following His lead. Let's stop looking at what WE can do and starting thinking about what God is able to do.

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The Difference That Our Adoption Consultant Made

 

It's hard to believe that it's now been about 13 years since my husband and I brought home our son through the gift of adoption and almost 8 years since we adopted our daughter. Reflecting on our experiences, I remain incredibly grateful for the impact that our adoption consultant made! I cannot imagine our adoption journeys without a consultant. Our personal experience of seeing the difference our adoption consultant made showed me how beneficial an adoption consultant can be to your adoption journey.

As someone whose heart was drawn towards adoption even as a child, over the years, I dug into learning about it. In my teens, during college, and after Josh and I got married, I read books, watched videos, checked out blogs, and asked questions. I talked with friends I knew who had been impacted by adoption, looked into different agencies, and intently listened to stories from adult adoptees. When I met my husband, I was at Wheaton College working on a Master's Degree with a plan to head to China to work at an orphanage.

Yet, when my husband and I got ready to begin our own adoption journey, I quickly found that knowing about something is much different than actually experiencing it. Enter: our adoption consultant.

As soon as we jumped into the adoption process, it became glaringly obvious that we had a lot to learn. All the information that I had gleaned over the years was helpful, but it could not replace the years of experience our adoption consultant had during her own adoptions and walking families through the process. She helped us navigate the complexities of agency dynamics, nuances of accurate terminology, and intricacies of walking out the specifics with integrity and wisdom. She prayed for us and helped us through her support and care. She educated us and equipped us to love an expectant mom in crisis. Not only that, she also connected us to a community of other adoptive families going through the process.

Even before I became an adoption consultant myself, I was telling everyone I knew about the benefits of using a Christian consultant. Looking back on our own adoption journeys, it was one of the best decisions we made.

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Is It Helpful To Work With An Adoption Consultant When You've Already Completed Your Home Study?

 

“I’m already home study ready and waiting with a local attorney/agency. How would it benefit me to work with an Adoption Consultant at this point?" 

This is a great question that I hear frequently from families inquiring about working with me. Here are three main reasons that it’s worth it to work with a consultant, even if you are already active with a local agency/attorney:

1.  More opportunities to have your profile book shown to expectant moms making an adoption plan
2.  Personalized support, prayer, and guidance
3.  Being a part of a caring community of adoptive families

Wider Reach
I help point you to multiple agencies and attorneys across the U.S., increasing your opportunities to present your profile book to more expectant moms. Increased exposure to adoption situations often means decreased wait time; our families match with an expectant mom on average less than a year after applying to multiple agencies. (This is a difference from being a waiting family with just one agency or attorney where you present your profile book only with the expectant moms that come in to that specific office. If it’s a small local agency, likely there will not be many placements per year there despite often having quite a lot of waiting adoptive families. Often, I will hear from families that have been waiting for 2-3 years with their specific agency and have only had their profile book shown a handful of times.) 

Personalized Support
As your Adoption Consultant, my job is to be there for YOU. I don’t work for an adoption agency or with birth parents. I work with you for you. With each adoption situation that you see, I am there to help you think through all the complexities involved and pray for you. Sometimes this may mean cautioning you about a risky situation, or offering feedback about your personal letter to a specific expectant mom, getting in touch with an agency on your behalf if you have some additional questions, or walking you through how to lovingly care for a mom you're matched with. Often, my role will be offering a listening ear, sharing encouragement and scripture, pointing you towards excellent educational resources, and praying for you. In addition to being an adoption professional who is in your corner, I’m an adoptive mama who understands the emotions involved with adoption because I’ve been there (twice)!

Caring Community
Each adoptive family that I work with has the opportunity to be a part of a moderated private online adoption group. Since we have worked with hundreds of adoptive families during their adoption journey, this large community is a wealth of knowledge and support. Having a community of families who “get it” is so vital to persevering through the ups and downs of the adoption journey. These families will also cheer you on and pray for you along with me.

Here are a few stories from families of mine that started with me after already being home study ready and waiting with another agency/attorney! Bryan and Jayne, Jimmy and Kyle, Gary and Angela.

If you’ve been waiting for a while with one attorney/agency and you’re ready to have more opportunities to present your profile book, you’re ready to receive personalized support, prayer, and guidance, and you’re eager to be a part of a caring community of adoptive families, using an adoption consultant might be a great next step for you!

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For more information about domestic infant adoption, please contact me. I'd love to be a part of your adoption journey!

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