Being a Mom Means Sacrifice

God has been so kind to show me lately that I haven't really surrendered with joy to this call that's He's placed on my life as a mom. I want to stay at home with my kids, instruct and train them for His glory, love them and enjoy them, but without the "hard stuff." I want it to be easy and all fun and not such a death to my own perceived "rights." When it's hard, I look for some way to make it easier. I can fight within my heart saying, "This is NOT how it's supposed to be! Being a mom is not supposed to require so much sacrifice from me. Shouldn't it be less tiring than this?" In other words, I haven't quite surrendered to God's plan of conforming me more to the image of Christ who came not to serve but to be served and to give his life as a ransom for many.

I'm praying that the Lord will help me to seize the joy of honoring Him by living for His glory, not for my own momentary ease. And I'm especially praying that He'll give me grace to do that when it's just plain hard. A couple of quotes from Carolyn Mahaney's "Feminine Appeal" have been helping me this week as I seek to lay down my own life for God's plan for me as a mom:

"In the career of motherhood there are no weekends off, no paid vacations, no bonuses or yearly raises, and no quitting time. It is just day0in and day-out giving. There are times when we feel we do not have another ounce of energy left to offer. What we wouldn't do to curl up on the sofa with a good book, enjoy a long, leisurely bubble bath, or simply take a nap. Yet multiple needs still require our attention.

I am convinced that no profession requires harder work or greater sacrifice than motherhood.

Because mothering requires constant sacrifice, the temptations to resentment, complaining, and self-pity are always close at hand. But such selfishness will quickly sap the strength of our love for our children."

It's not easy to die to myself but it's worth it to please God in my parenting.

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Is There Really A Point to This Hard Stuff?

If you know me much, you already know that I really bow down to that favorite idol of mine, "love of ease." Of all the idols to have, this one is just flat out stupid given that I have two little children who need quite a bit of attention. The "easy life" isn't one that parents who are actively seeking to care for their kids are going to have. Still, I want it and my battle each day is to submit to God's plan to conform me more into the image of His Son through little deaths to self. I read the following in Milton Vincent's "A Gospel Primer for Christians" today and felt like God was personally speaking to me. Maybe it will be an encouragement to you as well:

"God is committed to my dying every day, and He calls me to that same commitment. (Luke 9:23) He insists that every hour be my dying hour, and He wants my death on the cross to be as central to my own life story as Christ's death to the gospel story.

Crucifixion hurts. In fact, its heart-wrenching brutality can numb the senses. It is a gasping and bloody affair, and there is nothing nice, pretty, or easy about it. It is not merely death, but excruciating death.

I should expect every day to encounter circumstantial evidence of God's commitment to my dying; and I must seize upon every God-given opportunity to be conformed more fully to Christ's death, no matter the pain involved."

Lord, help me seize upon every moment You give me today to be more conformed to Your own life, saying, 'Not my will, but Yours be done.'

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Fall Fun

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34 Weeks

Today I am officially 34 weeks along...and even though that is a lot farther than back when I was 5 weeks or 12 weeks or 20 weeks, it still seems like it's going to be forever before little girlie is born.

Here's what I know about 34 weeks:

1) It is a gift to have made it this far with a healthy, living, active little baby inside.

2) It is still fun to feel her move, especially when Tali puts her hand on my (large) belly and feels the kick too.

3) Enjoying my two two-and-unders isn't easy when getting up and down takes so much effort.

4) Each moment with the "big kids" is more precious because I know that soon my time will be divided between 3.

5) Sleeping is sort of a thing of the past for a while...at least sleeping in long intervals! I'm up constantly to go to the bathroom, or up just because my body aches too much to lay down.

6) The being pregnant part of having a baby isn't so fun at this point and I am praying for grace not to complain but to be grateful.

7) Deciding on a name isn't so easy. Deciding on the spelling is apparently even harder.

8) 34 weeks is a good place to be because it's the place that God has sovereignly and lovingly placed me, despite all of the physical pains and the exhaustion.

9) It might be a long, long time until I'm 34 weeks again...or maybe even never; only God knows. I want to enjoy this very temporary season.

10) Each day closer to 35 weeks brings me closer to 36 weeks which brings me closer and closer and closer to seeing our sweet little girl face to face. Can't wait!

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Early Morning Thoughts From Owey

This morning I heard Owen calling from his room, "I wanna seep on Mommy's pih-low. I wanna seep on Mommy's pih-low." Knowing that we'll have a newborn soon makes me want to savor the moments with my little "almost 2 year old" baby all the more. So I brought him in.

He quietly sucked his thumb for a while, then glanced over to Josh sleeping beside him and whispered, "Can I look at him?"

"Sure, buddy, you can look at him," I laughed.

Owen began softly touching Josh's beard and quietly whispered, "Oh! Daddy ih bue-duh-ful. Daddy so bue-duh-ful!"

I couldn't agree more.

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