Somewhere Tonight

Somewhere tonight, she is there.  I don't know her name.  I don't know what has brought her to this place.   I don't know what she looks like or what her background is or what makes her laugh or what her dreams for this baby are.  But I know that she's out there.  She might be scared.  She might be confused.  She might feel alone or angry or completely unsure of where to go or what to do.  Maybe she's not sure if she can continue with this pregnancy.  Maybe she's trying to just ignore the life inside of her.  Maybe she has been abandoned, forsaken, kicked out and without a place to go because of this baby.  Maybe she feels like all hope for her future has ended.  

Maybe she's considering ending this life or maybe she wants so badly to keep this baby.  Maybe she is doing all she can to feed the mouths of the little ones she already has and knows she can't add another.  Maybe she has a supportive OB or maybe she's never seen a doctor because she doesn't have insurance.  Maybe she has a husband who's standing by her through this decision or maybe she has a boyfriend who has left her when he heard or maybe she doesn't even know who this baby's father is.  Maybe she's a teenager or maybe she's a woman or maybe she's somewhere in between.

I've never met her.  In truth, I know virtually nothing about her.  Still, I lay awake at night thinking of her, praying for her, crying for her. I know that she is an amazing person because choosing to go through nine months of pregnancy knowing you will not be there for the first smile, first steps, first words, first everything is grief unimaginable.  She is brave and she is making an incredibly selfless choice. Again and again, I'm asking God to bring her to someone who will stand by her through this, someone to show her the love of a God who does not let go...someone who will show her Jesus.

Somewhere tonight, she is there.  We don't know her name.  We don't know what has brought her to this place but we know that she's out there. Whatever differences she and I may have, what we've got in common cannot be measured.  We both want what's best for this baby and our lives will never be the same because of this child.

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These Kids Get It

One of the most beautiful things about this adoption process has been watching the effect it's had on our kids.  We have three sweet children that are pretty amazing in many ways but they are also...well...kids, which means that they generally think a lot about themselves.  Being a family that's adopting hasn't magically erased their self-centeredness (or mine for that matter!) but God is using it to do something amazing in their little hearts.  Here's just a taste of some recent conversations around our home:

Owen:  "Can we pray for the mommy that has our baby in her belly?  Let's pray that she will take good care of the baby and that if she can't, someone else can take care of the baby until we get him."

(Side note: Owen has never heard those exact words from us.  Josh and I do talk with the kids about birthmoms, but not in great detail. Still, she is obviously very much on their minds.)

Babysitter: "Addie, your daddy and mommy are on a date but they'll be home soon.  What do you think they are doing?"

Addie Beth: "They're adopting a baby!"

Tali: "Mom, I'm going to save and save my money so someday, if I don't have any babies from my belly, I can adopt!  Well, actually, even if I do have babies, I can still adopt because there are still lots of children that need mommies and daddies, right Mom?"

They might be little, but you know what?  They get it.  Our kids know that there are kids their ages without parents and merely knowing about it isn't enough for them.  They want to do something about it.  Lord, give us all hearts like these children!

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