Last night my mind was running through all of the paperwork for adoption grants yet to be applied to, then to all of the paperwork yet to be filled out when we apply to agencies, then to all the paperwork that I don't even know about that will likely happen after being matched with a birthmom. As I was mentally picturing all of these papers yet to be filled out and all of the papers that we've already done, well...I felt tired. Then I thought, "Isn't there an easier way?"
God instantly brought to mind Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, staring into the cup of God's wrath that awaited Him as He looked ahead to the cross. And He pleaded, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39) But He knew there wasn't another way. Our sin completely separated us from God. It was either Jesus endure incredible suffering and agony being hung on the cross, taking on God's full punishment for sin or God's children could not be a part of His family forever. There was no other way.
I'm not trying to compare adoption paper work to the crucifixion of Jesus, believe me. But, I think the Lord wanted to show me two things through remembering this. First, no amount of suffering I go through compares to the suffering that Jesus went through for me. He was still completely human while He was completely God. So He completely felt every bit of that excruciating pain and suffering. It wasn't lessened because He was sovereign and knew what was coming next. And that pain? Being utterly separated from His father and having every sinful thought, action, and word heaped on Himself, bearing the guilt and full weight of that sin even though He had never done anything wrong, and taking the punishment for it all...that is a pain unimaginable.
My weariness at all this paperwork? It is real and it is hard but it does not compare to all that Christ went through for me. I will never know what it's like to have every single sin of every single person put on me. I will never know what it's like to then experience God's wrath and condemnation against all of that evil that I never actually did. I will never know it because Jesus suffered in my place.
Secondly, adoption is not easy. It wasn't easy for God to adopt His children into His family. It wasn't easy for Him to send His Son to the cross. It wasn't easy and pain free for Jesus to be crucified. God's adoption of His children came at a great cost to Himself. Is it any wonder that there would be some hard things for us as we're in the process of adopting?
So when I picture the paperwork that awaits me, I want to be amazed at what Jesus has done to make me God's child. I want to stand in awe as I remember that there was no other way. And I want to thank God that Jesus didn't give up in the midst of the hard but said, "Not my will, but Yours be done."
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