Adoption Story: Dan and Eliza

This sweet couple. Wow! If you need a reminder today that endurance in the adoption process is worth it, look no further. Dan and Eliza had been in their adoption wait for almost four years when they called me, interested in learning more about using an adoption consultant. Almost four years! Yet, when they shared their story with me on that first call I heard no bitterness or anger from them; they were holding onto the Lord. More importantly, the Lord was holding onto them. I prayed specifically for God to bless them with a short wait with me given that they'd already been waiting for so many years. I won't pretend to understand God's time-table, but I do know that His timing in connecting this specific couple with the specific birth mama who chose them was absolutely beautiful and perfect. They started with me in November, were chosen in December, and their daughter was born in March. 

Eliza shares:

Adoption wasn't part of our original plan. God used cancer to lead us to adoption. During our first daughter's C-section, the surgeon discovered cancer in Eliza's uterus, which resulted in a hysterectomy the following week. After two years of talking and praying, God gave us the desire to grow our family through domestic adoption. We began the process with a Christian adoption agency.

It was one of the most significant tests of patience and trust we have ever experienced. After 3 1/2 years of waiting to be matched we were questioning if we wanted to continue the painful process. The emotional toll the waiting had taken was draining and had left us weary. In November 2019, after one conversation with Katie, we knew that we wanted her help. It was a great encouragement to work with Katie who is adoptive mother herself. Her personal experience brought a level of understanding and compassion. It meant so much to us that she encouraged us with God's truth and pointed us to Him in the months that would follow. It also gave us hope knowing that we would have exposure through multiple agencies rather than just one. 

We are so thankful we did not give up. We were finally matched with a birth mother one month after beginning to work with Katie. We know that every adoption story is different, but for reasons unknown to us, God chose this path for us and it was all in His timing. This is one major truth that was reinforced to us through our adoption journey: God's timing is not our own, but it is for our good. We have been amazed to watch God's story unfold. 

We are so incredibly grateful to have adopted our daughter. We also have unspeakable love and admiration for our daughter's birth mother, and we consider her a part of our extended family. When our daughter was placed in our arms, we experienced firsthand the power of the gospel. A child was given to us, not because of anything we did to deserve her, but out of love. We will forever be grateful. 

We are so grateful for Katie, and for the irreplaceable role she played in our daughter's adoption story.

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For more information about adoption, reach out to me. I'd love to help!

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Adoption Story: Jon and Annette

I won't mislead you-this is a gut-wrenching story. Adoption is always born from loss but Jon and Annette's adoption journey to their twin daughters is absolute tragedy mixed with beauty. The compassion of Jesus was so powerfully displayed in them as they deeply loved their daughter's birth mama in the face of terminal cancer. This is what it looks like to step into devastating loss with eyes fixed on Christ and not on self. It was an honor for me to witness this adoption journey as I walked alongside Jon and Annette as their Adoption Consultant. They got started with me at the end of October in 2018 and were chosen by their girls' birth mama five months later in March of 2019. Annette so kindly shares a glimpse into their journey.

Tragedy and Joy Unreconciled by Annette

“It would be a good idea to write a letter to the mother introducing yourselves and expressing why you want to adopt her daughters.” I remember hearing those words from our adoption consultant Katie, and thinking “sure, we can do that.” I had no idea what a heart-wrenching challenge this would turn out to be for my husband and I. 

Moments before, we had said yes to presenting on a situation we knew very little about. Twin girls, 18 months old, and the birth mother with a terminal cancer diagnosis. We knew she was just discontinuing treatment and had lost her job and had no place to live.

It had been eight years since we had received the calling to adopt. God placed adoption on our heart in our first year of marriage. We decided we were going to adopt through the foster care system. That’s where the need was, that is the affordable route to go. We were just waiting on the right timing. October 2018, we felt the time was right. However, for some unknown reason we both, separately, felt God nudging us away from foster care and towards domestic adoption. We started switching gears and looking more into domestic adoption. For eight years we had been planning on adopting through the state and I was so confused as to why it suddenly did not feel right. I knew at that time that we were being asked to step out in faith. 

We met Katie through a friend’s recommendation. She talked us through every step of the process and encouraged us to seek God. We prayed and felt a deep peace about pursuing domestic adoption. Throughout this whole process Katie was right by our side. Helping, calming fears, giving us sound advice and helping us wade through the sometimes-murky waters, her help was invaluable. Her constant reminders to pray about it and seek God, constantly broke through the chaos in our hearts and minds. 

I smile when I look back and see God’s hand very clearly guiding us right to our daughters. Through our home study and other preparations, we excitedly began preparing for the child or sibling set we would soon welcome into our home. As we were preparing for a sibling set our social worker peered up at us with a puzzled expression saying “You realize you are doing a private adoption and will most likely get a single infant” We just smiled and said “yes.” Yet somehow, I knew deep down that this would not be the case. 

Here I sat, with this daunting task before me. My lap top open and my fingers ready to type words that simply were not there. How do you tell a dying mother how much you would love to take her daughters? How do you express the joy at the thought of adopting her sweet girls in the light of this most horrific disease? 

The depth of this tragedy was in sharp contrast with the expectant joy of adoption and words failed me. 

I cried out to God. My heart was so full of pain for this sweet mother and simultaneously overjoyed at the prospect of the most wonderful gift. Putting those thoughts and emotions to pen felt impossible. I put the computer down and went about tucking my three children into bed. Bedtime prayers, stories and songs were clouded as I tried to make sense of the swirl of thoughts and emotions coursing through me. 

With the deadline looming in the morning, my husband and I sat down once more to compose this letter. I turned to him and said “I think God wants us to offer to take her in as well as the twins” It had felt crazy in my head and even more so speaking it out loud. I was surprised when he said “Yeah, I think you are right.” It was unusual, but felt just. This woman, dying of cancer should have the option of seeing and being with her daughters in her remaining days. 

A short time later it was finished. Our letter said that we were overwhelmed by the tragedy of her terminal diagnosis. We wrote that we were ready and wanting to welcome her sweet girls into our family and cherish and love both of them as our own. We invited her to come and live with us in an Airbnb across the street free of charge. We found several hospice centers available nearby for when the need arose. We explained that my husband was a doctor and I am a nurse and we were committed to giving her the best of care. 

She picked us. Our hearts were pounding when we met her. Lunch at the Olive Garden felt oddly normal, routine, as we got to know one another. She shared favorite childhood memories and we talked about how she would be remembered in our home. Several hours later we picked up the two most beautiful brown haired, blue-eyed little girls, identical twins. We fell in love instantly and it all felt like a dream. 

She chose not to come with us and I felt foolish for even offering. Did we mishear God? Were we so totally off base? Then she held my hand and told us how meaningful our letter was to her. With tears in her eyes, she told us that when she read of our offer, she saw our hearts and knew that she wanted her girls to be raised by us. She expressed the deep peace she felt knowing that her girls were going to a wonderful, loving family. She chose us because of our letter. 

We spent several days together shopping and taking the most beautiful pictures of her and the girls, and all of us together. And then we loaded up the twins in our car and drove away. It felt wrong to leave her at the hotel. She was out of money and did not know where she was going for the night. We felt helpless.

I compiled our photos together in a small photo book and mailed it to her. We messaged back and forth regularly until her death two and a half short months later. We were surprised at her death. We were planning on doing so much more for her. How had she become such an intimate part of our family so quickly? The woman who had been forced by death to give us this most precious and perfect gift was suddenly gone. 

The dichotomy of emotions still overwhelms me. We grieved the death of this sweet mother while rejoicing for the incredible gift of parenting these girls. The two emotions rubbed against one another and I struggled to make sense of it all. 

Honestly, I still struggle. I should have done more. I should have figured out a way to love her better in her dying days. The deep tragedy of her untimely death is still felt profoundly, and yet if she hadn’t died, I would not have my daughters.

It feels strange and uncomfortable to grieve the circumstances that led to the adoption of your children. Shouldn’t you just be thankful? Shouldn’t you say “God works all things for the good?” No. I am heartbroken at her death. A mother was forced to make a decision she should never have to make. My girls lost their mother at a very young age and that is tragic. Simultaneously, I am overjoyed to be their mother. This is a gift that brings me indescribable joy and I thank God for it daily. 

Does the joy of being their mother make the tragedy of her death any less? No. 

Does the tragedy of her death take away from the joy of being their mother? No. 

The two cannot be reconciled. The joy and the tragedy exist together.

Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption. Through this experience I can see a little more clearly the heartbreak caused by sin and separation. I can see the Father’s love as he fought for us, even unto death on a cross. I can see his joy as we turn back to him and he claims us as his newly adopted children. 

This is what adoption is: joy and tragedy existing together, bringing about new life. 
Redemption. 

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For more information about adoption, please contact me. I'd love to help you!

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Brian and Jenn Johnson's Adoption Story

A global pandemic. Quarantined at home. Travel halted. Unrest and anxiety hovering as Covid-19 spread. Devastating racial injustice. Protests. Rising racial division and grief. Rioting. A nation desperate for peace. These were not the circumstances Brian and Jenn Johnson of Bethel Music expected they’d be in during their second adoption journey. And yet, for such a time as this their son Malachi would enter the world. As an Adoption Consultant who has walked the Johnsons through both of their adoption journeys, I’m honored to share some of their most recent adoption story today.

Brian and Jenn brought home their son, Ryder, in 2017. They have beautifully shared God’s heart for adoption and desire to walk out 1 John 3:18 (NLT) “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” In February of this year, the Johnsons got in touch to let me know they were considering adopting again.

Like every couple thinking about adoption, they faced an inescapable reality: unknowns. Anyone interested in adopting will encounter this same impasse: in faith, will you take the step that’s visible in front of you, even though you can’t see all of the twists and turns ahead? Or will you stay put, held back by the inevitable uncertainties and potential challenges that could await you? Brian and Jenn chose to move forward, trusting the One who already knew what lay ahead, even though they did not. And no one could have predicted the storm that awaited them.

Almost as soon as they began working on their adoption home study (the process that legally approves you to adopt), Coronavirus began spreading in the U.S. Offices quickly began closing around them. If they couldn’t complete all of the necessary background checks and licensing process prior to businesses closing, their process would be stalled. Brian and Jenn raced to complete all of the paperwork and clearances required. And as He loves to do, God made a way where there seemed to be none. Incredibly, they became licensed to adopt in the middle of March right before everything officially hit pause from the virus.

As a home study approved family, the Johnsons were officially ready to show their adoption profile book to expectant mothers making an adoption plan. I created a customized agency and attorney list for them to help them apply with multiple vetted offices across the U.S. in March. We sensed the Lord might be centering their story in Texas so we shifted our focus primarily to Texas agencies, open-handed to what God might do. But the question marks continued. How long would they wait to be chosen? Given Covid-19, would they even be allowed in the hospital when the time came for them to adopt? I prayed for the Lord to clearly lead them and asked Him to make a straight path through the obstacles.

Almost exactly two months later in May, one of the agencies they had applied with contacted Brian and Jenn about an expectant mom due soon who was choosing to place her baby for adoption. They were the perfect fit for this expectant mom and she was the perfect fit for them. This was exactly what they’d been waiting for. Chosen! To make it even sweeter, the hospital where the baby would be delivered had just opened back up to allow adoptive parents entrance. With every unknown, God was paving the way to their son.

On May 12, in the midst of a world swirling with suffering, precious Malachi Judah (meaning “messenger of praise”) was born. In God’s kindness, Brian and Jenn were able to be there for his first breaths, supporting his courageous birth mom with their love and watching again the miracle of adoption.

It’s been such an honor for me to support and guide Brian and Jenn as they welcomed Ryder and now Malachi home forever. Despite the uncertainties and difficulties, they stepped out in faith with their “yes” and trusted God’s heart. He was so very faithful. Jenn’s words on her Instagram convey it well: “Welcome to the world son. You were born for such a time as this. You are the sweetest and a gift from God.” Amen.

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