Fighting for Faith During Adoption

(Photo Credit: Life of Pix)

“Our dishwasher just went out."
“Out of nowhere we need all these crazy expensive car repairs!"
“Our kids are almost always healthy but for the last month we’ve been sick constantly."
“My family is having a really hard time understanding why we want to do this."
“It’s like one thing after another right now keeps happening to us right now."

Let me ask you this-have you recently become involved with adoption? If so, I’m not surprised you’re experiencing roadblocks!

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you."  (1 Peter 4:12-14)

Granted, the context of this verse is speaking specifically to the sufferings that come when you are insulted for your faith. But I do think it has connections with the sufferings that come through seeking to love vulnerable children for God’s glory as well. It’s not going to be easy. It won’t be without challenge or tears. The enemy of our souls is not jumping up and down with joy about children entering loving, Christian homes.

It is almost a given that when you follow God’s leading and begin to dig your heart and heels into the process of caring for children in need, you are going to face some opposition. Whether you are seeking to reflect His heart through supporting an adoptive family, pursuing adoption yourself, speaking out for life, doing Safe Families, or fostering, there will be push back. Are you ready to fight with faith?

Fighting with faith looks like holding tightly to God’s Word and letting Him have the final say in our lives. Fighting with faith looks like reaching out and letting your friends know you need their prayers. Fighting with faith looks like listening to God’s perspective and fixing our minds on that instead of dwelling on our circumstances or emotions. It means thinking about what is true. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

Fighting with faith means you intentionally remind yourself of eternity, of Jesus’s sacrifice on our behalf, of the fact that our God went to the greatest lengths imaginable to make us His children. "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:1-3)

Loving like God loves can be hard. Don’t be surprised when things are challenging along the way in adoption. There will be difficulties but your Father is with you and will continue to be with you every step of the way. Be ready to fight with faith.

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) 

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Please contact me at katiefenska@gmail.com for more information about domestic adoption. I'd love to be a part of helping you fight with faith in your adoption process. 

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Adoption Story: Obbie and Kelly's Twins

One snowy day last winter I talked to Kelly for the first time while my kids were outside sledding with their grandpa. Like only God can, He instantly connected my heart to this sweet couple as I prayed with Kelly. Right away, she felt like a long-time friend, not someone I'd just met who was considering working with an adoption consultant.

I will never get over the awe of what God has done in Obbie and Kelly's story. It's a story of infertility and miscarriage, cancer and healing, faith and strength, oh...and TWINS! But most of all, to me, it's a story of the grace and worth of God alone-the only One who enables someone to walk in valley and praise Him still.

Kelly was kind to share some of their adoption story with us. Grab some tissues and get ready to see God's hand of love!

I (Kelly) was born with a very rare form of childhood cancer. The doctors told my parents I had less than 10% chance to live. In His great power, God healed my body of the cancerous tumor. And when it returned 8 months later, He healed me again. Due to the treatments my body endured at such an early age (chemotherapy and surgery), we always knew that my fertility could be severely diminished. And this possibility became increasingly likely and eventually confirmed after I reached adulthood. In a sense, I believe the Lord, in His kindness, was preparing my heart for what was to unfold. 

After an emergency appendectomy at 15 years old, my surgeon informed me that the likelihood of bearing children was very slim. In that moment I remember thinking about adoption. Even then I can see how the Lord was growing my heart for something more beautiful than I could ever dream. God had a plan. It was HIS plan. And it was so much better than mine. Over the past 5 years my body has endured a mini-stroke, open-heart surgery and two more cancer surgeries. During these difficult times my fertility always came into question. Before and after every one of these surgeries adoption always came to my mind. And in even in the unknown, I felt a sense of peace from the Lord.  

Almost a year after my 4th cancer surgery, we both received surprisingly incredible news: I was pregnant! But tragedy seemed to strike as quickly as the news had come in. Only a few weeks after receiving the news that I was pregnant, I miscarried. We were devastated. Even in our pain, we could feel His presence. It was difficult to trust God in the darkness. It still is sometimes. But, even then, we trusted He had a plan. He had not brought us this far to leave us on our own. God was up to something. He was preparing us for something more beautiful than we could ever imagine. 

Shortly after the miscarriage, Obbie and I started praying about when the Lord would have us begin the adoption process. Then, God stepped in and provided clarity and confirmation through a variety of circumstances and conversations. We were reminded that earthly adoption is a beautiful depiction of the Gospel and the heart of our heavenly Father. You see, we were once orphans. We were once fatherless. But through Christ, we have been spiritually adopted and welcomed into the family of God. The Bible tells us that God is a “Father to the fatherless” and that “He sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:5-6). Although we could have gone down the fertility treatment route, we felt the Lord nudging us in a different direction.  

The pain, the tears, the suffering, the scars, the cancer, the unknowns-they have not been wasted. God has been refining us, growing us, humbling us, sanctifying us and preparing us all along. I can't get over how God good is. Sometimes I cry while I am holding my babies because God is just so faithful!

Oh my heart! I love this couple! And God continues to walk with them in the good and the hard. They started with me in February, were matched with an expectant mama due with twins in May, their beautiful babies were born in June, and then in August their house was destroyed in the devastating flood in Louisiana. And still they are praising their faithful Father, trusting Him for all that they need.

Obbie and Kelly, your lives testify to the faithfulness of God and of His beauty, worth, and grace. You've looked to Jesus in every trial and declared again and again that He is worthy of your lives. It's been an honor to walk alongside you in your adoption journey.

(Photo Credit: Emily Fuller. Lyrics by Fernando Ortega.)

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For more information about adoption, please contact me.

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Fenska Adoption #2 And A Way You Can Help

(Photo Credit: Laura Birkey)

Thank you so much for the encouragement and excitement you’ve surrounded us with since we shared that we’re adopting! We feel the love and we’re so grateful! Here’s a quick run down on why we’re in the process again and how you can help.

The Why
Adopting again is something that’s been on our hearts for a while now. Even before we brought Titus home, we talked about adopting one more time. We love being parents, we love our kids, and we have more love to give! Each of our children have shaped our lives for the better and we’re excited to experience that joy again. Our hearts are also for expectant mamas walking through adoption; we want to be available as they make the hard choice about whether or not they will place their child for adoption. And underneath all that, we have a deep gratitude towards God for adopting us into His family and we believe loving through adoption is one way we can reflect His heart.

The How
How are we going to be ready for the steep $25-32K or more that our adoption will cost? (Yikes! I know! In case you're curious, that money goes to things like agency fees, lawyer fees, birth mom counseling and living expenses, etc.) For the past four years, we have worked hard to save and God’s been faithfully providing. But we’re still about 15K short. We’re committed to continue working and saving but we're also coming to you for help. We are praying for 10K before January. It’s hard and uncomfortable to ask for help, but we need it. Would you consider stopping by our page on AdoptTogether where you can be a part of our adoption by giving a tax deductible gift? Every gift, whatever the size, is so meaningful.

As you probably know, Titus’s adoption was a whirlwind and even when we were left scrambling for the funds, God was so faithful! We know that He will faithfully provide again. As we’ve talked about it and prayed about it, we really want to be more prepared ahead of time this go-around if possible. We’ve already said “no” to several adoption situations because we don’t have all the funds ready to go yet. But we trust that God’s timing for our family is perfect. Thank you so much for considering being a part of our adoption journey! We thank God for your prayers and support.

(Note: AdoptTogether will disperse funds directly to our adoption agency when we are matched with an expectant mama.)

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