Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Broken and Beautiful Path to Titus: Part 1

God's ways are often so mysterious; they rarely make sense when we're in the midst of a dark cloud of sorrow.  Our week began under that cloud, ridden with tears and disappointment that our match to adopt twins had ended.  We love those twins and their selfless birthmom immensely so ending our match with them was excruciating and felt much like a death to be greived.

That match ended as we were heading to Florida to meet the twins' birthparents.  (In fact, when we arrived at Midway Airport, Josh asked if we should just stay in Chicago.  Then while we were in line, I asked him, "Should we really just go?  What for?")  Instead of arriving and meeting the twins' birthmom who we love, we had a phone call with the attorney's office and then headed to the beach, heartbroken and confused as to what had just happened.  I have never seen my husband cry so hard and I have never felt so numb in all of my life.  All we had hoped for, all we had imagined, all we had dreamed about these twins had been crushed.  It was devastating.
But amidst the tears and the questions and the exhaustion, God was there.  He was there and He went to great lengths to remind us that He cared.
In the spectacular sunset over the ocean, He reminded us of how beautiful He is.  
Psalm 19:1"The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork."
With the raised hands of a father, praying over his son on the beach, He reminded us, "I'm here."
In the quirky stillness of a local beach shop...
In the peaceful emptiness of a charming bed and breakfast...

In the freshness of a bright blue sky, God was caring for us.  He led me to Psalm 27:13,14 and we clung to it for dear life:

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!
          (Psalm 27:13-14 ESV)

Wednesday morning, I texted with my friend and adoption consultant, Tracie, who had been praying for us (my writing is in green).  Here was our short conversation:
(a "stork drop" is adoption lingo for a last minute adoption situation)

You can read Part 2 of the story here.

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