God Can Heal

This is me before the meds kicked in & I started putting on more weight

Well, the verdict is officially in. I have Graves' Disease.  I was really hoping and praying that postpartum hyperthyroidism was to blame, but nope. Graves' is basically an autoimmune disease where your body attacks your thyroid.  Graves' Disease doesn't really ever go away completely, but you can go into remission. The two main treatment options are to take a radioactive pill to kill my thyroid (then be on meds to do what my thyroid would have done for life), or to take meds for 1-2 years in hopes of regulating my thyroid levels enough to be in remission and off meds for good (or until a flare up comes).  Or to try a completely natural approach.  At this point, we're opting for the meds. My endocrinologist thinks I have about a 60% chance of them working and me going into remission after the 1-2 years.

I was feeling really great physically for about 4 days. My symptoms had decreased significantly and the only real drag was exhaustion and weakness.  But then I woke up Sunday morning and everything started to really annoy me again.  I was extremely tempted to get angry at anything and everything. I started just feeling nasty. My bad headaches came back.  I couldn't sleep.  My heart palps were creeping up again.  I couldn't think.  I was completely overwhelmed and discouraged and trying hard to remember truth about God amidst suddenly feeling awful again. What happened?  Why did I suddenly take a turn for the worse?

Monday morning my endo called to inform me that I needed to stop the meds completely for a week because my blood tests showed that I was going into HYPOthyroidism...in other words, my levels flip-flopped.  That's why I started feeling terrible again.  So now the game plan is to get another blood test after a week off of meds to see where I'm at. Then I'll start up meds again at a different dosage.  Here's what I'm praying everyone: I am praying that God has or will completely heal me.  I'm praying that my tests will come back completely NORMAL.  I'm wondering if God has already healed me and that maybe the meds made me go into hypo because I don't need them at all anymore.  I'm praying for God to give me complete healing.  Would you pray that with me?  I know He is able to do all things and He might not see it as best for me to be healed. But then again, it might be His perfect plan.

How am I doing with all of this craziness?  Well, that depends.  I'm trying to think about what is true in God's Word.  He says that He works all things together for good.  He says that His ways are perfect.  He says that He gives more grace.  He says that His strength is made perfect in weakness.  He says that He keeps in perfect peace him whose mind is fixed on Him.  God is more than enough even if I feel junky forever.  When I think about who He is, I'm fine.  I'm better than fine; I'm at peace and content!  When I think about how I feel today or how I might feel next week or how I am doing the bare minimum for and with my kids and husband, or how my house looks, or how I might have to take these meds for 2 years straight...then I'm not doing so well.  So the fight is on, my friends.  If you want to know how to pray for me, pray for my healing and pray for grace for me to do what I can't do on my own-fix my gaze on Christ and not my circumstances.  I can already see ways that He's using this to conform me more into His image, so for that I'm grateful.

What I really deserve is God's wrath against my sin.  What I have received is His mercy and forgiveness because Christ took my punishment.  That is more than enough reason for me to praise Him tonight!