Tuesday, August 3, 2010

God Can Heal

This is me before the meds kicked in & I started putting on more weight
Well, the verdict is officially in. I have Graves' Disease.  I was really hoping and praying that postpartum hyperthyroidism was to blame, but nope. Graves' is basically an autoimmune disease where your body attacks your thyroid.  Graves' Disease doesn't really ever go away completely, but you can go into remission. The two main treatment options are to take a radioactive pill to kill my thyroid (then be on meds to do what my thyroid would have done for life), or to take meds for 1-2 years in hopes of regulating my thyroid levels enough to be in remission and off meds for good (or until a flare up comes).  Or to try a completely natural approach.  At this point, we're opting for the meds. My endocrinologist thinks I have about a 60% chance of them working and me going into remission after the 1-2 years.

I was feeling really great physically for about 4 days. My symptoms had decreased significantly and the only real drag was exhaustion and weakness.  But then I woke up Sunday morning and everything started to really annoy me again.  I was extremely tempted to get angry at anything and everything. I started just feeling nasty. My bad headaches came back.  I couldn't sleep.  My heart palps were creeping up again.  I couldn't think.  I was completely overwhelmed and discouraged and trying hard to remember truth about God amidst suddenly feeling awful again. What happened?  Why did I suddenly take a turn for the worse?

Monday morning my endo called to inform me that I needed to stop the meds completely for a week because my blood tests showed that I was going into HYPOthyroidism...in other words, my levels flip-flopped.  That's why I started feeling terrible again.  So now the game plan is to get another blood test after a week off of meds to see where I'm at. Then I'll start up meds again at a different dosage.  Here's what I'm praying everyone: I am praying that God has or will completely heal me.  I'm praying that my tests will come back completely NORMAL.  I'm wondering if God has already healed me and that maybe the meds made me go into hypo because I don't need them at all anymore.  I'm praying for God to give me complete healing.  Would you pray that with me?  I know He is able to do all things and He might not see it as best for me to be healed. But then again, it might be His perfect plan.

How am I doing with all of this craziness?  Well, that depends.  I'm trying to think about what is true in God's Word.  He says that He works all things together for good.  He says that His ways are perfect.  He says that He gives more grace.  He says that His strength is made perfect in weakness.  He says that He keeps in perfect peace him whose mind is fixed on Him.  God is more than enough even if I feel junky forever.  When I think about who He is, I'm fine.  I'm better than fine; I'm at peace and content!  When I think about how I feel today or how I might feel next week or how I am doing the bare minimum for and with my kids and husband, or how my house looks, or how I might have to take these meds for 2 years straight...then I'm not doing so well.  So the fight is on, my friends.  If you want to know how to pray for me, pray for my healing and pray for grace for me to do what I can't do on my own-fix my gaze on Christ and not my circumstances.  I can already see ways that He's using this to conform me more into His image, so for that I'm grateful.

What I really deserve is God's wrath against my sin.  What I have received is His mercy and forgiveness because Christ took my punishment.  That is more than enough reason for me to praise Him tonight!

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11 Comments

11 Responses to “God Can Heal”

  1. So sorry,Katie! We are continuing to pray and trust with you! Remimded that even as you are only physically able to do the "bare minimum" for your fam, praise Him who gave it all-on their behalf as well.

    Love you dear friend!

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  2. Oh Katie, I will defintely be praying for you.

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  3. Katie, I'm so sorry the diagnosis wasn't what you hoped. I will pray for healing, and I will pray for sustaining grace regardless of what happens.
    I was struck by your comment about doing the bare minimum for your family, and I think the Lord has a gentle exhortation for you there. The "bare minimum" by whose standard? God's word calls you to love your husband and children; what that principle looks like in practice will depend on your season. You have different expectations and standards for the weeks and months right after a baby is born, right? You would have different expectations of a wife and mother who was in a wheelchair, or something like that. God has ordained your limitations right now, and therefore he has made what you think of as the "bare minimum" as your maximum. The boundaries have fallen for you in pleasant places (Ps. 16), and the Savior will pour out mercy and favor within those lines.

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  4. Instead of writing out the same, I will just 'ditto' Andrea's comment :)
    I was taught this very humbling lesson during my pregnancy with Noah. I am praying for you, dear, dear friend! I find that God's glory is displayed more vividly through our response to our trials, and that has been again proven through you! Keep looking up!

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  5. Katie, I am so encouraged by the display of faith that you are showing in the midst of such a trial. God's strength is indeed being proven perfect here, and his grace is being proven sufficient. It is truly beautiful!

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  6. Thanks, friends!

    Andrea, you're so right. I'm confident that this is one of the biggest things God wants to teach me through this. I can often elevate what are good practices to THE ONLY WAY, rather than trusting God's differing plans for different seasons and different people. Eager to learn!

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  7. Katie,
    Count me in for praying - both for healing and for grace to live in it. I love your example of trusting in God's TRUTH. All the enemy ever whispers (or shouts!) to us are lies lies lies, so I picture him getting punched in the face every time you chose to believe God over him. Keep it up, warrior!!!
    Love you, old friend,
    Kiki

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  8. "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10

    Praying for you, Katie!

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  9. Katie, I am so sorry. HOWEVER, we do serve an awesome and MIGHTY God! I will be praying for you and standing with you in faith.
    Love you!

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  10. Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies,
    Psalm 103:1-4

    He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destruction. Psalm 107:20

    Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard. Isaiah 58:8

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  11. Praying for your healing, Katie! I do believe the Lord will work this all out for your good. Thank you for example of faith and trust in the Lord, all while acknowledging the struggles. You are glorifying our Savior. This is no surprise to Him. Love, Nikki Hurt

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