Whitney and Chelsea's Third Adoption Story

If you want to learn from adoptive parents who will teach you with humility and honesty, leave you feeling more encouraged, and point you to Jesus, look no further than Whitney and Chelsea. This precious couple has adopted three times and they have so much wisdom to share. I feel blessed to have walked alongside them during two of their adoption journeys and continue to learn from their faith. Their most recent adoption journey to their daughter wasn't easy, but as He always does, the Lord poured out His grace and His presence. Even when they walked through the challenge of an expectant mama they were matched with deciding to parent, they loved well and looked to the Lord with trust. I'm thankful that Whitney and Chelsea agreed to answer a few questions in this space. I hope you enjoy our little Q+A!

As you look back on your most recent adoption and specifically the Lord's care, what comes to mind?

This adoption took 2 and a half years plus. It was long, it was difficult, there was a failed adoption, money lost, hearts aching. But God was always near, He was always leading us, always steadying us, giving us faith to keep going, keep trusting. We believe He called us to do it, and we know He equipped us for it. He grew our faith in a great way by showing us He can be trusted at all times, and we never regret trusting him. "Without faith, it is impossible to please God." Hebrews 11:6

As you walked through adoption loss during this adoption, what truths did you cling to?

God is sovereign and He can be trusted. If He is in control of all things, working for my highest good; we can trust His good hand even when we do not know why or how or when. 

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8: 32  He gives us His very best for us at all times, drawing us more near to Him and giving us more of Him-the greatest gift He can give. 

We can trust Him when we don't see. We asked God for faith to trust Him completely in this hard time. 

Habakkuk 3: 17-19 " Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places."

My heart also sang the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" daily. Over and over I sang it. He has always been faithful, throughout eternity. I know it full well. 

What did you appreciate about working with Katie?

This is our second adoption using Katie as our consultant. Katie has been such a great partner in the adoption process. People often ask us if a consultant is with the extra fee, or if they could just apply to specific agencies. Hands down I tell them it is the most fruitful help we have received in any of our 3 adoptions. Katie is in our corner, she is on our team, she is for us. She has provided counsel, encouragement, prayer upon prayer. She was able to help us think well about adoption birth mother situations, how to proceed during a failed adoption. She grieved with us during that loss, rejoiced with us when we rejoiced. Even after our adoption was complete, she connected us with therapists who could help us! She just really loves her adoption families. We consider her part in our adoptions so valuable and would trust her again anytime. 

What would you tell someone who is fearful about meeting their child's birth parent(s)?

God has grown our hearts over the last several years for birth family as we have walked through adopting our 3 children. At first it seems scary, there are other parents that love this child, what if the child loves them more? How can we share the responsibility of loving this child? But God has moved in our hearts and put great love for birth family there. It is an honor to know and love their family. We are so grateful for the love and care our children's birth family have for them, and know the true blessing of that for each child. Adoption plans are made with love for the child. They are considering the child's greatest good, like our heavenly Father does for us. 

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For more information about domestic infant adoption, reach out to me. I'd love to help!

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Adoption Story: Dan and Eliza

This sweet couple. Wow! If you need a reminder today that endurance in the adoption process is worth it, look no further. Dan and Eliza had been in their adoption wait for almost four years when they called me, interested in learning more about using an adoption consultant. Almost four years! Yet, when they shared their story with me on that first call I heard no bitterness or anger from them; they were holding onto the Lord. More importantly, the Lord was holding onto them. I prayed specifically for God to bless them with a short wait with me given that they'd already been waiting for so many years. I won't pretend to understand God's time-table, but I do know that His timing in connecting this specific couple with the specific birth mama who chose them was absolutely beautiful and perfect. They started with me in November, were chosen in December, and their daughter was born in March. 

Eliza shares:

Adoption wasn't part of our original plan. God used cancer to lead us to adoption. During our first daughter's C-section, the surgeon discovered cancer in Eliza's uterus, which resulted in a hysterectomy the following week. After two years of talking and praying, God gave us the desire to grow our family through domestic adoption. We began the process with a Christian adoption agency.

It was one of the most significant tests of patience and trust we have ever experienced. After 3 1/2 years of waiting to be matched we were questioning if we wanted to continue the painful process. The emotional toll the waiting had taken was draining and had left us weary. In November 2019, after one conversation with Katie, we knew that we wanted her help. It was a great encouragement to work with Katie who is adoptive mother herself. Her personal experience brought a level of understanding and compassion. It meant so much to us that she encouraged us with God's truth and pointed us to Him in the months that would follow. It also gave us hope knowing that we would have exposure through multiple agencies rather than just one. 

We are so thankful we did not give up. We were finally matched with a birth mother one month after beginning to work with Katie. We know that every adoption story is different, but for reasons unknown to us, God chose this path for us and it was all in His timing. This is one major truth that was reinforced to us through our adoption journey: God's timing is not our own, but it is for our good. We have been amazed to watch God's story unfold. 

We are so incredibly grateful to have adopted our daughter. We also have unspeakable love and admiration for our daughter's birth mother, and we consider her a part of our extended family. When our daughter was placed in our arms, we experienced firsthand the power of the gospel. A child was given to us, not because of anything we did to deserve her, but out of love. We will forever be grateful. 

We are so grateful for Katie, and for the irreplaceable role she played in our daughter's adoption story.

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For more information about adoption, reach out to me. I'd love to help!

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Adoption Story: Jon and Annette

I won't mislead you-this is a gut-wrenching story. Adoption is always born from loss but Jon and Annette's adoption journey to their twin daughters is absolute tragedy mixed with beauty. The compassion of Jesus was so powerfully displayed in them as they deeply loved their daughter's birth mama in the face of terminal cancer. This is what it looks like to step into devastating loss with eyes fixed on Christ and not on self. It was an honor for me to witness this adoption journey as I walked alongside Jon and Annette as their Adoption Consultant. They got started with me at the end of October in 2018 and were chosen by their girls' birth mama five months later in March of 2019. Annette so kindly shares a glimpse into their journey.

Tragedy and Joy Unreconciled by Annette

“It would be a good idea to write a letter to the mother introducing yourselves and expressing why you want to adopt her daughters.” I remember hearing those words from our adoption consultant Katie, and thinking “sure, we can do that.” I had no idea what a heart-wrenching challenge this would turn out to be for my husband and I. 

Moments before, we had said yes to presenting on a situation we knew very little about. Twin girls, 18 months old, and the birth mother with a terminal cancer diagnosis. We knew she was just discontinuing treatment and had lost her job and had no place to live.

It had been eight years since we had received the calling to adopt. God placed adoption on our heart in our first year of marriage. We decided we were going to adopt through the foster care system. That’s where the need was, that is the affordable route to go. We were just waiting on the right timing. October 2018, we felt the time was right. However, for some unknown reason we both, separately, felt God nudging us away from foster care and towards domestic adoption. We started switching gears and looking more into domestic adoption. For eight years we had been planning on adopting through the state and I was so confused as to why it suddenly did not feel right. I knew at that time that we were being asked to step out in faith. 

We met Katie through a friend’s recommendation. She talked us through every step of the process and encouraged us to seek God. We prayed and felt a deep peace about pursuing domestic adoption. Throughout this whole process Katie was right by our side. Helping, calming fears, giving us sound advice and helping us wade through the sometimes-murky waters, her help was invaluable. Her constant reminders to pray about it and seek God, constantly broke through the chaos in our hearts and minds. 

I smile when I look back and see God’s hand very clearly guiding us right to our daughters. Through our home study and other preparations, we excitedly began preparing for the child or sibling set we would soon welcome into our home. As we were preparing for a sibling set our social worker peered up at us with a puzzled expression saying “You realize you are doing a private adoption and will most likely get a single infant” We just smiled and said “yes.” Yet somehow, I knew deep down that this would not be the case. 

Here I sat, with this daunting task before me. My lap top open and my fingers ready to type words that simply were not there. How do you tell a dying mother how much you would love to take her daughters? How do you express the joy at the thought of adopting her sweet girls in the light of this most horrific disease? 

The depth of this tragedy was in sharp contrast with the expectant joy of adoption and words failed me. 

I cried out to God. My heart was so full of pain for this sweet mother and simultaneously overjoyed at the prospect of the most wonderful gift. Putting those thoughts and emotions to pen felt impossible. I put the computer down and went about tucking my three children into bed. Bedtime prayers, stories and songs were clouded as I tried to make sense of the swirl of thoughts and emotions coursing through me. 

With the deadline looming in the morning, my husband and I sat down once more to compose this letter. I turned to him and said “I think God wants us to offer to take her in as well as the twins” It had felt crazy in my head and even more so speaking it out loud. I was surprised when he said “Yeah, I think you are right.” It was unusual, but felt just. This woman, dying of cancer should have the option of seeing and being with her daughters in her remaining days. 

A short time later it was finished. Our letter said that we were overwhelmed by the tragedy of her terminal diagnosis. We wrote that we were ready and wanting to welcome her sweet girls into our family and cherish and love both of them as our own. We invited her to come and live with us in an Airbnb across the street free of charge. We found several hospice centers available nearby for when the need arose. We explained that my husband was a doctor and I am a nurse and we were committed to giving her the best of care. 

She picked us. Our hearts were pounding when we met her. Lunch at the Olive Garden felt oddly normal, routine, as we got to know one another. She shared favorite childhood memories and we talked about how she would be remembered in our home. Several hours later we picked up the two most beautiful brown haired, blue-eyed little girls, identical twins. We fell in love instantly and it all felt like a dream. 

She chose not to come with us and I felt foolish for even offering. Did we mishear God? Were we so totally off base? Then she held my hand and told us how meaningful our letter was to her. With tears in her eyes, she told us that when she read of our offer, she saw our hearts and knew that she wanted her girls to be raised by us. She expressed the deep peace she felt knowing that her girls were going to a wonderful, loving family. She chose us because of our letter. 

We spent several days together shopping and taking the most beautiful pictures of her and the girls, and all of us together. And then we loaded up the twins in our car and drove away. It felt wrong to leave her at the hotel. She was out of money and did not know where she was going for the night. We felt helpless.

I compiled our photos together in a small photo book and mailed it to her. We messaged back and forth regularly until her death two and a half short months later. We were surprised at her death. We were planning on doing so much more for her. How had she become such an intimate part of our family so quickly? The woman who had been forced by death to give us this most precious and perfect gift was suddenly gone. 

The dichotomy of emotions still overwhelms me. We grieved the death of this sweet mother while rejoicing for the incredible gift of parenting these girls. The two emotions rubbed against one another and I struggled to make sense of it all. 

Honestly, I still struggle. I should have done more. I should have figured out a way to love her better in her dying days. The deep tragedy of her untimely death is still felt profoundly, and yet if she hadn’t died, I would not have my daughters.

It feels strange and uncomfortable to grieve the circumstances that led to the adoption of your children. Shouldn’t you just be thankful? Shouldn’t you say “God works all things for the good?” No. I am heartbroken at her death. A mother was forced to make a decision she should never have to make. My girls lost their mother at a very young age and that is tragic. Simultaneously, I am overjoyed to be their mother. This is a gift that brings me indescribable joy and I thank God for it daily. 

Does the joy of being their mother make the tragedy of her death any less? No. 

Does the tragedy of her death take away from the joy of being their mother? No. 

The two cannot be reconciled. The joy and the tragedy exist together.

Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption. Through this experience I can see a little more clearly the heartbreak caused by sin and separation. I can see the Father’s love as he fought for us, even unto death on a cross. I can see his joy as we turn back to him and he claims us as his newly adopted children. 

This is what adoption is: joy and tragedy existing together, bringing about new life. 
Redemption. 

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Brian and Jenn Johnson's Adoption Story

A global pandemic. Quarantined at home. Travel halted. Unrest and anxiety hovering as Covid-19 spread. Devastating racial injustice. Protests. Rising racial division and grief. Rioting. A nation desperate for peace. These were not the circumstances Brian and Jenn Johnson of Bethel Music expected they’d be in during their second adoption journey. And yet, for such a time as this their son Malachi would enter the world. As an Adoption Consultant who has walked the Johnsons through both of their adoption journeys, I’m honored to share some of their most recent adoption story today.

Brian and Jenn brought home their son, Ryder, in 2017. They have beautifully shared God’s heart for adoption and desire to walk out 1 John 3:18 (NLT) “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” In February of this year, the Johnsons got in touch to let me know they were considering adopting again.

Like every couple thinking about adoption, they faced an inescapable reality: unknowns. Anyone interested in adopting will encounter this same impasse: in faith, will you take the step that’s visible in front of you, even though you can’t see all of the twists and turns ahead? Or will you stay put, held back by the inevitable uncertainties and potential challenges that could await you? Brian and Jenn chose to move forward, trusting the One who already knew what lay ahead, even though they did not. And no one could have predicted the storm that awaited them.

Almost as soon as they began working on their adoption home study (the process that legally approves you to adopt), Coronavirus began spreading in the U.S. Offices quickly began closing around them. If they couldn’t complete all of the necessary background checks and licensing process prior to businesses closing, their process would be stalled. Brian and Jenn raced to complete all of the paperwork and clearances required. And as He loves to do, God made a way where there seemed to be none. Incredibly, they became licensed to adopt in the middle of March right before everything officially hit pause from the virus.

As a home study approved family, the Johnsons were officially ready to show their adoption profile book to expectant mothers making an adoption plan. I created a customized agency and attorney list for them to help them apply with multiple vetted offices across the U.S. in March. We sensed the Lord might be centering their story in Texas so we shifted our focus primarily to Texas agencies, open-handed to what God might do. But the question marks continued. How long would they wait to be chosen? Given Covid-19, would they even be allowed in the hospital when the time came for them to adopt? I prayed for the Lord to clearly lead them and asked Him to make a straight path through the obstacles.

Almost exactly two months later in May, one of the agencies they had applied with contacted Brian and Jenn about an expectant mom due soon who was choosing to place her baby for adoption. They were the perfect fit for this expectant mom and she was the perfect fit for them. This was exactly what they’d been waiting for. Chosen! To make it even sweeter, the hospital where the baby would be delivered had just opened back up to allow adoptive parents entrance. With every unknown, God was paving the way to their son.

On May 12, in the midst of a world swirling with suffering, precious Malachi Judah (meaning “messenger of praise”) was born. In God’s kindness, Brian and Jenn were able to be there for his first breaths, supporting his courageous birth mom with their love and watching again the miracle of adoption.

It’s been such an honor for me to support and guide Brian and Jenn as they welcomed Ryder and now Malachi home forever. Despite the uncertainties and difficulties, they stepped out in faith with their “yes” and trusted God’s heart. He was so very faithful. Jenn’s words on her Instagram convey it well: “Welcome to the world son. You were born for such a time as this. You are the sweetest and a gift from God.” Amen.

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Brent and Leslie's Adoption Story

One of my favorite things about being an adoption consultant is getting a front row seat to the deep work of faith growth that God regularly does in hearts along the way. It inevitably challenges and strengthens my own faith as I watch God speaking to the adoptive parents that I work with. Now about three years after Brent and Leslie brought home their daughter, I continue to give thanks for the ways they sought God in the midst of questions and difficulty. Leslie reflects back on their adoption journey:

Never say never. I vividly remember sitting in our church around ten years ago listening to a visiting pastor talk about he and his wife’s adoption story. I thought to myself and even told my husband that adoption was just something I could never do.

Fast forward some years and a house full of boys later....after experiencing complications in my pregnancy that made any further pregnancy extremely risky, we knew that God closed that door so that we could see Him swinging the one to adoption wide open.

Thus beginning our adoption story, that was nothing like I had planned, but thanks to the faithfulness of God exactly what we needed- both in the journey and the result.

To be very honest, when we started the process my “plan and expectation” was that we would be matched extremely quickly with the momma of a baby girl who would want a semi-open to closed adoption, and I would have leaned more in the direction of closed.

And then God... 

First, during our home study process God used the experiences that adult adoptees shared to begin to crack open my mind and help me see the benefit in open adoptions. My heart began to change and we began to present to a wide array of situations, expecting to match quickly. And then we got one “no,” then two, and then three. And then we got a “YES!” We were so so excited! A baby girl due to be born in 10 weeks. We made our plans, began to buy plane tickets and book our lodging. A week later we got the call that everyone fears. She had changed her mind. Failed adoption.

We all just cried together and suddenly, my oldest stood up and yelled out, “WHY?!?!? Why did she change her mind? I wanted that baby girl so much! I WOULD DIE TO HAVE HER!” And in THAT moment, I knew the heart of Jesus like I had not known before. His willingness to go to the cross so that He could have us in eternity with Him.

A failed adoption was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but one of the most teaching. It was through that experience that I drew closer to God than maybe ever before. He wouldn’t “waste” this trial. He would turn it for our good and His glory! We were totally reliant like we never were before, because this deep DEEP longing for a daughter was FULLY dependent upon His provision of her. And so I would sit praying with both desperation and expectation. Waking up every day and think, “Is today the day?” Presenting to situation after situation, both forcing myself to be vulnerable enough to risk the heartache of another “no” again, and trusting the Lord enough to wait on Him. They were long, hard, faith testing days.

This was the time when we saw the infinite value of having Katie!!! It was beyond words helpful to have someone who had both walked the adoption path themselves, but also walked it with so many others. She had watched and could testify about the faithfulness of God in people’s story- EVEN in the hardest times. She sent me articles and books to read, one with the quote I will never forget—“That which makes us pray more, is for our good.” She was many times our Godsend, working as His hands and feet to make sure we kept our focus on Him. I don’t know how we could have done it without her!!!

And then one day Katie called. She was calling about a situation that was complex. There were some medical unknowns, even some potential concerns, and the financial situation would be more of a stretch for us than we had planned it to be. We got some more information about it and decided to present. And then it was silence for days. Late on a Saturday night, on our 11th anniversary, we got a call saying it was a YES!!!! Baby girl was due in 20 days!

At the hospital, we watched as her birth parents held and kissed her in awe and love. The time we had getting to know them more was incredible. And then, the next day, a tiny, beautiful, 5lb 4oz baby girl was now our daughter. Our baby girl! All our waiting, all the heartache, all the unknowns, it was all worth it at that moment. She was ours. God had given us this amazing gift. A daughter!

And it was simply all God. All of it. Him changing our hearts towards open adoption. Him closing all the doors to all of the other situations. Him allowing the failure, to create in our hearts a longing for a daughter so that we would consider a situation that we might not have otherwise. Him bringing us to this family, to this beautiful baby girl. All of it was God and may it all be for His glory! Always! I cannot even believe we have a little girl who is almost three.  She is a beautiful, spunky, sweet, opinionated little thing, who we love more than words can express!  She truly has completed us! 

And now, almost three years later, our continued experience with open adoption continues to be a complete blessing!  We have a closed Facebook page with her birth mom and dad, her birth grandmother, two aunts, and one uncle and we share pictures and videos, which allows them all to watch her grow.  We FaceTime with her birth mom every six months or so at least, but we message back and forth weekly.  Upon occasion, we are able to message with others in the group as well! I know this will be SUCH an important thing for our daughter as she grows, understands more about adoption, and can know more about her birth family.  What I once feared, is something I now cherish so deeply and am forever grateful for! 

For more info about domestic adoption please contact me at katiefenska@gmail.com!

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Adoption Story: Vernon + Rhea

God loves to work through community. Vernon and Rhea's adoption journey so clearly reminds me that He often chooses to encourage and challenge our hearts through His people. It was such a joy for me to walk alongside this sweet couple as their Adoption Consultant. (And goodness, isn't their daughter adorable?!!)

Rhea shares:

A family friend of ours referred us to Katie in October 2018. We are so thankful we were able to connect with Katie and start our adoption journey with her. I had never heard of an adoption consultant but now it is my #1 recommendation to anyone considering adoption.

Our home study was complete at the end of 2018 and by January we were being sent situations about expecting mothers. We were so nervous to present our profile that we spent the first month just waiting and reading and not feeling the need to rush.

We presented our profile for the first time late January and quickly learned another family was chosen. We continued to present in the next few months to a couple expecting mamas - hearing the same news. My husband and I stayed optimistic but it was getting harder to think we would ever be chosen. Of course, looking back, our adoption happened pretty quickly.

In July we presented to a mama that was due any day. This is when I started packing a bag – we just never knew what could happen! She chose another family but we continued to see several more situations each week. It was quite a roller coaster!

It was early August when we heard again we hadn’t been chosen. Another situation had been sent during this time and I reached out to Katie to ask her thoughts on it. This situation felt riskier and a lot was unknown (which really always is true). When we started our journey, this may have been a situation we would’ve possibly not presented to. While my husband and I were deciding what to do, I read a blog from an adoptive mom telling what seemed to be our story. They were beginning to feel defeated and wondering if they would ever be chosen but took a leap of faith and presented even though they had fears. Her final thoughts were, “God will never let you miss your child.” I read the post to my husband with tears in my eyes and asked him again if we should present. It was so clear in that moment that it wasn’t up to us. It was out of our hands and we had to trust God knew what was best. That he wouldn’t let us miss our child.. Based on renewed inspiration from someone else’s journey – we presented. And we heard yes.

Less than nine months after our home study was complete our daughter was in our arms. We were able to share some time with our daughter’s birth mom and met some of her family during the hospital stay. We send updates and pictures often and even had the opportunity for a visit when our daughter was four months old. We know she will cherish the photos with her biological grandmother, aunt and sister when she is older and hope we can see them again soon.

We are so grateful for the guidance from Katie as we navigated our adoption journey!

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For more information about domestic infant adoption, please contact me!

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Adoption Story: Darin + Lois

It's not easy to hold fast to hope, stand on the truth about who God is, and keep trusting He is working even while you wait during your adoption. It IS easy to become discouraged, question if you'll ever be chosen, become frustrated, and want to give up while you're waiting to be chosen by an expectant mom making an adoption plan. Darin and Lois blew me away by their consistent trust in the Lord during their difficult adoption wait! The grace He poured out on them while they waited was so beautiful to see. I'm so happy to share some thoughts from Lois today about their adoption journey with me!

This journey of bringing home our baby girl has been a long, beautiful, and hard road. It began in May of 2018 when we first spoke with Katie and began our home study. We had thought we prepared ourselves to wait… and wait… and wait to hear a “yes.” There were many times, after hearing “no,” we had to remind ourselves that God is writing this story. And while the waiting and wishing were so hard, He did give us peace. It wasn’t always easy, but we truly knew we were doing what He wanted us to do. While we waited, we focused on enjoying the days of “just us two.” We spent a lot of those “just us” days dreaming of when it would be “three.” And yet we found ways of filling these days with fun and happiness and doing things we knew we wouldn’t be able to do with a child; building a better marriage and relationship with each other and with God.

We were officially home study approved in the beginning of July 2018 and were excited to be able to present to a mom who was due in just a few months. This was the first of many times we heard “she chose another family.” In spite of the disappointments, we continued feeling that we were on the right path. We knew God would someday bring our baby home. In July 2019, almost exactly a year after being home study approved, we finally heard the long-awaited “YES!” After hearing no so often, it seemed unreal to us that we were chosen. In the next few days, reality began to sink in and we began to get so so excited. She was due in November and that seemed so far away.

In the months of waiting for our baby girl to be born, we saw the heart of love in our daughter's birth mom for her unborn child. The courage she showed and the love she had for her, showed such a sacrificial and brave spirit. We truly felt God’s hand in this match and the long wait to hear a “yes” was worth every "no" we had to hear first.


We see God’s fingerprints over and over in our journey to bring home our daughter. We are grateful that He led us to Katie and her prayers, encouragement and advice have been invaluable. We treasure the memories Darin and I made during the many months of waiting, and we see how it brought us closer together and created a better marriage. And learning more of God’s love and His care through difficult times has deepened our relationship with Him. 

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For more information about domestic infant adoption, please contact me. I'd love to help you!

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Adoption Story: Chris + Victoria

When you hear those hard words, "She chose another family," it's difficult not to take it personally. Doubts can easily creep in. "Will we ever be chosen? Are we too old? Is there something wrong with us?" Continuing to wait on God's timing without giving up during the wait is just plain hard. I'm so very glad that Chris and Victoria held on and kept believing that God knew what He was doing. When I think back on their adoption journey, what most stands out in my mind is the incredible and beautiful open adoption God formed. From the moment that they heard about their son, they not only opened their hearts to him, but opened their hearts to his entire birth family as well. I'm so grateful to Victoria for being willing to share their story below:

Adoption can be scary and overwhelming at times but it is all worth it in the end! All the moments of uncertainty, doubt, and anxiousness from the journey just become a memory when we finally met our son. When you fall in love with your child, you will truly forget about the struggle and long journey it took to bring you together. If you're considering adoption, I want to encourage you: everything you endure is all worth it, so do not lose hope or give up on your dreams. Each person's journey will be different. As you're waiting to be matched, remember, God is working! Maybe you haven't been chosen yet because the child God has for you has not yet been born.

I know my son was chosen for us by God. We heard about our son 3 months after he was born. When we were chosen we found out that his biological mother had named him "William." We knew it was meant to be! You see, this was the name we had planned to name our son all along (if we ever had one) because it was my deceased father’s name. Coincidence? No! It was clearly God’s doing. We are so thankful that God brought us together and for the beautiful relationship we have with his birth family.

For years we were skeptical of an open adoption. Frankly, that probably stopped us for many years with proceeding with the adoption process at all. It was scary and intimidating to me because I didn’t know what to expect. However, after taking classes for our home study and learning more, openness started to be less scary. My extreme desire to have another child trumped any other reservations I had. Once we met our son's birth family, the sense of gratitude just overwhelmed me. If it wasn’t for them picking us, I would not be holding this precious child. We could not thank them enough. I have nothing but gratitude towards our son’s biological parents and family. They did one of the hardest and selfless acts that one can do by choosing to place their child for adoption. I can’t fathom how hard that was for them. I will forever be thankful and grateful that they chose us to be his forever family. Since adopting William, we have stayed in touch with texting, pictures and annually seeing the whole extended family. We have been down to Florida a few times and they have visited us as well. They send Christmas, birthday and Easter presents. Now, three years later, there is still a very deep sense of gratitude in my heart for them and I honestly don’t see this feeling ever changing. We believe that the open adoption will make it a more natural way of explaining his adoption story to him. Throughout his childhood he will never wonder who his biological family is, or where he was born. We see open adoption as a win-win for everyone but especially for my son because he is loved by so many!

I would highly recommend Katie Fenska because she always believed God had a plan for us and convinced us to never lose hope. She stayed positive when I had terrible doubts and fears of never being chosen because of our age.  She never once felt that age was an obstacle and convinced me there were many positives to being an older mom that expectant moms would appreciate. She stayed in contact regularly, and always prayed for us during the waiting time. At one point, when we were almost ready to give up, she reassured me that God had a plan and urged us to hang in there. Miraculously, we received the call a week later that we were chosen. Katie was compassionate, caring, insightful, spiritual and positive throughout the whole journey. If anyone is thinking of adopting, I would highly recommend working with Katie! She will have your best interest at heart and put all your doubts and fears to rest.

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Adoption Story: Tom + Deanna

This is one of my all-time favorite photos that I've ever received from one of my families. I'm not sure I've seen an adoption picture that better captures the joy of a mama meeting her child for the first time better than this one from Tom and Deanna!

This sweet couple came to me after being a waiting family with their local office for 18 months. I know it's a big leap of faith for someone to branch out and use a consultant after being home study ready and waiting locally but there are so many benefits to doing so.  I love it when God uses adoption consultant to drastically change the wait for someone who has been in the adoption process for a long time. When Tom and Deanna got started with me, they quickly jumped in and were chosen by the first expectant mama who they presented their profile book to! 

Here are some thoughts from Tom and Deanna about their adoption journey:

We’re so grateful to be able to share our experience. It has been an unbelievable journey and we are sure it will give hope, comfort, and joy to anyone seeking adoption placement!

God taught us to trust Him during this journey. In our minds, we waited so long and felt that we were never getting closer to growing our family. In fact, God was just telling us to “wait just a little longer”and placed the greatest gift in our lives - our daughter. Our trust in God has grown so much over the last year. 

Katie, from the first contact we made with her, was extremely helpful, not only in the technical aspects of adoption consulting, but also in providing hope and care for us in the midst of our journey. This is adoption consulting done right. In a field where many people may want solely a transactional relationship with their adoption counselors, attorneys, or birth parents, it is places like this that stand out as missionaries of God seeking placement for children with faithful families.

Our daughter’s birth mom placed the greatest gift we couldn’t even fathom into our arms and will forever be a Saint to us. She has always been so loving to us and continually reaffirms the choice all of us made to proceed with an adoption. 

For anyone considering adoption, just know that there is an incredible support network of people who have adopted in the past and want to share in your struggles, frustration, stress, hope, and joy. The “ups and downs” are seemingly common to everyone who has gone through this process and it therefore creates a tight-knit community of people who have shared the same life-altering experience.   

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Adoption Story: Peter + Kate

Walking alongside Peter and Kate during their adoption journey felt like an honor. They held firmly to Christ during the unexpected and hard. With each decision they made, they went to Him. As they were waiting on God, He was at work behind the scenes as He always is. And then one winter day they got the call that changed their lives forever; they were chosen for a precious little girl. Below, Kate shares a transparent look at the juxtaposition of brokenness and beauty in adoption through her poem, "Wildflowers."

Wildflowers (by Kate)

every morning i open the door to your coos and babbles.
i see two little hands and two hazel eyes just barely peering above the crib rail.
i see a three-and-a-half-toothed smile behind a pacifier.
welcome to a new day.
those hazel eyes are not like mine.
your strawberry blond hair is not like mine.
i did not give you life from the moment of your conception.
but you are no less mine.

for the first nine months of your being you were loved and you were protected.
and i did not know about you.
for the first five months you had breath you were loved and brought into a caring home.
and i did not know about you.
but you are no less mine.
from the beginning of time you were always going to be ours.
but you will always be hers too.

she gave you life and breath.
she gave you her nose and her smile.
she gave you pieces of herself to carry with you always.
she loved you so much she gave you life.
and then she let her heart be broken because she didn’t want yours to be.
but you were always meant to be.
and you were always meant to be ours.

i bring you downstairs for bananas and cheerios.
you have your morning bottle among your brother’s oatmeal, your sister’s waffles, and mama’s coffee.
we start our morning together.

sometimes I see the parts of you that are pieces of her,
and it breaks my heart for her.
it breaks my heart to think of the wake of pain that follows behind your beautiful soul.

my dear girl, you are a constant reminder of how God can take the brokenness of this world and make all things new.

you have been given a new name.
you have been made ours.
i pray as you grow you will know the one who ordained your life before there was time.
that you would know the only one who can make the sad things come untrue.
until then i hope you’ll let the wildflowers grow through all the cracks.

i wipe leftover breakfast from your face and hands amidst raspberry-blown protestations.
we get dressed and get ready for the day while you find all of the things you shouldn’t have.
and you are so very proud of yourself as you show me each dryer sheet, sock, tissue, water bottle, and shoe.
smiles, giggles, and screams of delight accompany all of your treasure-hunting – along with the fastest crawling getaway one has ever seen.

my littlest love, i hope you know how abundantly you are loved.
i hope you know that you will always be hers, yes.
but you are no less mine.

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Adoption Story: N+K

Anyone who enters an adoption process naturally does so with some thoughts, hopes, and dreams about how it all will unfold. Rarely do things happen exactly as someone expects or imagines. But I can tell you that a heartbreaking failed adoption and then an unexpected extended NICU stay out of state isn't on anyone's agenda! As you get a glimpse into this couple's story, listen for the heart of the One whose beautiful plans far exceeded their own. This dear family taught me so much about what it means to look to Jesus when our plans crumble.

K shares:

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”  Proverbs 19:21

We first contacted Katie when we prayerfully decided we were ready to grow our family of five into a family of six. Katie had helped some family members with their adoptions, and we loved her from the moment we had our initial phone call! We had three biological children under the age of 8 at the time, and had the privilege of hosting several children in our home in a span of 2 years prior to our adoption. God really shaped us as a family through this, and opened our hearts to exploring growing our big family into an even bigger family through adoption. 

Adoption had already been a big part of our extended family and we were excited to begin the process. We would soon learn that supporting a family or friend through the adoption process and walking through it yourself are totally different things. God would continually remind us throughout our adoption that He was the one steering the ship, no matter how hard we tried to navigate those sometimes rough waters. Admittedly, we entered the process wanting desperately to keep as much of that grip of control as possible but the Lord would slowly chip away at that as He often does.

When we had talked about adding to our family, we always said because we had 3 younger kids at home that a premature baby wasn’t an option for our family. How would we do it out of state? How would the kids survive at home with mom and dad gone so long? Logistically how would that even work out with our jobs? We are big planners, and a NICU stay was not in our plans. Not at all.
Long story short, thankfully the Lord had a plan that was entirely different than what we had conjured up as our “ideal” plan. And that plan would bring us to meet our perfectly beautiful tiny little son one hot September day. 

We had just navigated a failed match that summer, and were heading into back to school for the older kids. We had one child in elementary, one starting preschool, and one in kindergarten. I remember that first week of school crying most days that all my babies were gone and now I was home all alone when I SHOULD have been home with our new baby. We knew God’s plan was best, but we were frustrated and really wanted to know WHEN and HOW this plan would work out.

One of those days just a week or two after school started, I was home alone and I remember seeing “Katie” pop up on phone. (stomach drop!) She told us of little boy born almost 3 months early whose mama was wanting to make an adoption plan for her son. Immediately, I felt like this could be our son, but was overwhelmed by the NICU and all the “what ifs” of a child born that early. After a call to my husband we enthusiastically said yes to something we had never imagined, took a leap of faith, and headed down to meet our baby boy.

Meeting our son for the first time was a moment we will never forget. He was so beautiful, so fragile, hooked up to so many tubes and monitors. He was the smallest baby we had ever seen. We had no experience with a premature baby. The NICU was a whole new world for us and initially extremely overwhelming. Worry is something I struggle with, and especially in the beginning I remember leaving the NICU late at night and just praying and praying over his tiny isolette that he would be safe until I returned in the morning. There were many moments in those first few months especially where I had to completely relinquish control to God trusting that He created our son and LOVED him fiercely, beyond what we could even imagine. And that as much as we loved him, God loved him infinitely more and had a uniquely beautiful plan just for him. Nothing we did or did not do would take God’s mighty hand off of his life.

As challenging at the NICU was, from the beginning the Lord continually met us in our need. Over and over He would prove to us He would NOT leave us, and that He fiercely loved us, and our newborn son. In this strange new city He continued to provide for us and comfort us……whether it was the kindest AIRBNB host who deeply discounted their apartment rate and provided me a safe place and a listening ear when I had to spend 2 months away from my other family….or the incredible hurtles our son would overcome for a baby his size during his stay in NICU….or the sweetest security guard that would pray for me when I was in tears and wondering just how everything would be alright with my baby….to the most amazing night nurse that adored him and loved him so well so I could feel comfortable leaving to sleep for a few hours after 12 sweet but long hours of skin to skin in the NICU….or the pastor we met on the elevator of the hospital the day we met our son, who invited us to his church across the street and loved, prayed, and provided for us the entire stay…or the friendship and support of sweetest CAC family who happened to adopt twin girls placed in the curtain right next door…. Or the incredible army of family and friends continually providing for our children at home so I could spend as much time bonding with our son as possible….the list truly goes on and on.

We look back on our journey to our son with grateful hearts. Forever grateful for the brave woman that gave him life and loved him first. Incredibly grateful for the spirited, sweet, funny, and busy 2 year old boy who we have the privilege of calling our son each day. But mostly grateful for the great, big God we serve and His GOOD purpose and plans that prevail in our lives.

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Adoption Story: Charlie and Rachel

As an adoption consultant, I have the amazing privilege of watching God work in the adoption journeys of my adoptive families. His care along the way is always unmistakable! Every story has it's share of loss and difficulty, and Charlie and Rachel's process was particularly challenging. There is no doubt in my mind that God worked powerfully in their hearts along the way. Rachel shares about God's personal care for them in her own words below.

I think back on our adoption journey and it always amazes me how God works. Through adoption, He worked on our marriage, my heart, and drew each of us as individuals closer to Him. It all started with Proverbs 16:9 "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps."

We had our plan to start our family, but the Lord had explained that He had a plan for us that was bigger and better than we could imagine. When we finally "Let go and let God," it was clear to us that God intended for us to start our family through adoption. We were bathed in prayer and supported both financially and emotionally by family and friends. So many people shared in our excitement. But months went by and the excitement wore off.

At one point, I remember feeling that God had just walked away, leaving me sitting in the dark scrambling to find Him. Like the lights had gone out and I had no flashlight to see. In His perfect timing, I attended a women’s retreat. All weekend long He placed people in front of me that were connected to adoption or infertility in some fashion. Every person that shared their story also prayed with me, for me, and in some cases cried with me. I was very grateful for the connections through these women and their stories, but what I really wanted was to hear Jesus. I sat one night alone on the floor and said to Him “I will sit here in this very spot waiting until I hear your voice.” I lost that battle of patience and went to bed with a sore butt and a bruised spirit. I was disappointed, but in reality I was simply being a child of God throwing a tantrum and wasn't interested in waking up the next morning for the last day of the retreat. However, I woke up to God's voice through a song sung by Steven Curtis Chapman. 

“And this is going to be a glorious unfolding

Just you wait and see and you will be amazed

You've just got to believe the story is so far from over

So hold on to every promise God has made to us

And watch this glorious unfolding.”

In my mind that translated to “WAIT A MINUTE! I'M WORKING ON IT!” First I laughed, then I cried. I could “see” again, knowing He wasn’t done with us. That was all the reassurance I needed to know that He was still walking this journey with me. 

A few weeks later we finally had that celebratory moment of being officially matched! I will spare you the details of the challenging months leading to our son’s birth, but I will share that things got ugly. So ugly, that at one point, we considered walking away from the match. I felt our marriage straining and all I wanted to do was hold tight to what I knew was good. I called Katie (our amazing consultant who calmly walked us through all our messes and never ending questions and phone calls) and told her I was ready to be done. Not just done with the match, but DONE DONE with everything. I was not willing to lose what I had in order to bring a baby home that wasn’t even guaranteed to be ours. It was painful and discouraging in so many ways. 

When Charlie returned home from work that day, the first thing we did was pray. We prayed for what felt like days asking for guidance and clarity in our situation. We found ourselves in these difficult situations multiple times in the months leading up to our son’s birth and each time God very clearly said “sit tight and let me do my work.” It was an incredibly challenging time for us. The ONLY reason we made it through this journey was because of Jesus. 

If you asked me in the beginning of our journey to describe what we thought our adoption journey would look like, I would have painted a very different picture. Our lives are forever changed for the better. Our sweet little boy is this connection between two women who would have never crossed paths otherwise. Some days I find myself tearing up when he gives me that silly little grin as I think about how empty our life was without him in it. God did this... all of it… He led us to Katie with CAC, He led us to our son’s birth mother, and He led us to our baby boy.  Just as he did way back when with Noah and his family after the rain, He gave us a rainbow after our storm. 

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Brian and Jenn's Adoption Story

God weaves so many intricate details together to intersect the life of one specific mother in crisis with the lives of one specific waiting adoptive family, all for the sake of one specific child. It blows me away.

No two stories are identical and yet each story is unmistakably marked by the hand of God.

I'm so glad that you get to watch Brian and Jenn Johnson share about their adoption journey and how bringing home their son has shaped them. The joy that is so clearly seen in this video characterized their hearts throughout their adoption process.  It was such an honor for me to walk with them as their adoption consultant and to see God working in their story. In the unknowns and waiting and each step along the way, their surrendered hearts reflected such deep peace and humility. Thank you, Brian and Jenn, for letting us share your story!

You can also head on over to this link to hear more from Fox News about their adoption!

Photo credit: from Fox News Article linked above

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For more information about domestic infant adoption, please contact me at katiefenska@gmail.com. I'd love to help you!

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Joel and Jaime's Adoption Story: Endurance and Hope

Photo Credit: Higher Focus Studios

Joel and Jaime so beautifully followed the Lord's guidance throughout their adoption journey, even through deep waters and grief. I feel grateful to have gotten to know them and to have been their adoption consultant! The way they have loved (and continue to love) their daughter's birth mom is a vivid picture of the deep and faithful love of God. I'm so glad that they wanted to share some of their adoption story with us.

"Patience, trust, endurance, and hope were central in our adoption journey. From the time we both felt the urge to adopt, to the time we brought our daughter home, about four years elapsed. During that time we experienced the birth and, shortly thereafter, the unexpected death of our son, Wesley. When we found out we were expecting Wesley we thought, perhaps, our hopes for adoption had been misplaced, or maybe our timing was off. We were moving toward adoption, but it appeared God had other plans for our family. We had an approved home study, and we were waiting for a baby, but we put all that aside when we found we were expecting our baby boy. Wesley was born after a healthy pregnancy, but passed away due to unexpected complications during childbirth. He was less than two days old."

"We were confused, to put it mildly. To finally reach the point of feeling we were emotionally ready to adopt, only to have those dreams set aside, then to have our baby, the reason we had set those dreams aside, die, was soul rending. We were crushed, and recovery from the loss of our son has been the hardest thing we have ever gone through as a family. We felt, almost as if it were a long-fostered spiritual reflex, that God had a plan and purpose for us, in spite of the valley we were walking through. As time passed, we again began to feel the familiar urges toward adoption."

"Prior to talking to Katie, we had been at a bit of a loss as to how to proceed. Which agency should we choose? Were we doing the things that needed to be done? Were we getting good advice? Working with Katie just made sense for us. When we considered the benefits of being able to present across a network of multiple agencies in multiple states, and having a consultant to walk with us through the process, the choice to contract with Katie was an easy one."

"After the frustrations of presenting again and again, and constantly feeling like we were being rejected, the way our adoption unfolded was absolutely amazing! We were matched with a woman in Louisiana, a mother not much younger than ourselves, who was expecting a little girl. We were guardedly excited when we got that “yes”, but we tried very hard to temper our enthusiasm, and to prepare our hearts for disappointment, should it come."

"Our daughter’s birth mom was gracious in allowing our daughter to room with us as soon as we arrived at the hospital, which was about 4 hours after our daughter was born. Those first couple weeks after birth, while we were waiting for ICPC, were especially significant. We intentionally reached out to our birth mom and we were able to spend time with her on multiple occasions, including a photo session with our daughter. We made the decision to invite her to the photo shoot, knowing it would be the only opportunity any of us would have to photograph her with her newborn baby. The pictures that came from that photo shoot are already unbelievably precious to us, and we’re so glad we invited her into our lives in that way. We hope both we and our daughter can have an open, healthy relationship with her over the years."

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Josh and Mary Beth's (Third) Adoption Story

You know when a family is currently in their FOURTH adoption process, their words are worth listening to. Josh and Mary Beth have loved big and lost big in adoption and yet they continue to love big because Jesus has loved them and they believe He's worth it all. I'm so grateful to call them friends and I know your heart will be strengthened by their story. Mary Beth shares below:

We are Josh and Mary Beth, and our family could not be more excited to welcome our sweet boy into our lives. What a journey! I cannot tell you how many adoptive families start their story with “our journey has been a little bit different...” because they all are. I have found myself saying that more than ever since our baby boy was born.

Josh and I knew that God was gearing us up to adopt our third child and that stirring in our spirits was met with excitement and anticipation. Adopting for the third time, you know how this goes. We knew we would be back to a world of paperwork, home visits, and constantly grabbing our phones to check for situations that might have popped up since the last time we checked (five minutes ago). We have LOVED watching God piece our family together through adoption. It requires us to walk so closely with Him and to rely on HIM alone which is stretching and so rewarding.

We had a feeling this would be a quick trip for us, and we were not wrong about that. We got a call as the ink was still drying on our home study that a mom wanted more information about our family. We furiously threw together a profile book to send and heard a YES almost instantly. We were beyond thrilled to watch God work quickly and set about preparing our home and hearts for this boy.

We met his sweet expectant mom and it was a perfect match. We loved her and found conversation easy and felt an instant connection. The day after our love at first sight meeting, she had an appointment. From that appointment, we got a phone call that turned our world upside down. She had lost the baby and would have to deliver him at 34 weeks. We were devastated. We thought we had mourned every single aspect life had to offer through my own inability to carry a baby. I sat in the empty nursery I had created for this boy and cried for hours.

We had a friend design shirts for us to sell as a fundraiser that said “LOVE HAS NO LIMITS #adopt", and this was our chance to put that love to the test and extend warmth and kindness and support to a woman we loved, and a baby we wanted so bad. She was scheduled to be induced to deliver him the next day and asked me if I would be there with her since he was always going to be mine. I said yes without hesitation and was so thankful for the chance to meet the boy of my dreams. I held him, named him, and kissed his perfect little head. I told him how bad I wanted him and that he would always be my first son. I held his mother’s hand as she grieved, and I knew God had me in this position because she needed me. It was awful. In all my wildest dreams, I never even imagined this could ever happen. And yet, here we were after months of being matched with this little boy. Healing from this immense loss felt impossible.

After a few months of brutal “no’s," we got a situation that my heart instantly connected with. This mom had a story that was filled with loss and pain that so closely matched the way my heart felt, and I just asked God to please allow this to be our rainbow baby. And just like that, God broke through our storm with a ray of sunshine so bright, we can’t help but smile when we think of the sweet boy God had for us to bring home. We have been so grateful for the chance to have our happy, sweet baby boy. He is PERFECTION. 

In a perfect world, we would have both of our sons in our home, but we know that we have a boy in heaven and one here in our home, and both of them bring us joy and fill our hearts with hope. And of course, because our story is a little different than most people’s...

Our son’s birth mom called us shortly after his birth to ask us if we would consider taking the baby she was pregnant with. We will be welcoming this sweet baby girl, our son’s biological sister, into our home this January. God asked us to walk a road that I would have never imagined I could ever walk, and he has taken our mourning and turned it into a literal dance party! ALL THE BABIES!

The love, support, and attention we received throughout this process has been incredible. I wouldn’t attempt adoption without the support of a consultant and the exposure that it gives your family as you wait for the little one God has just for your family. It has been hands down been worth every penny!

(Photo credit: Bethany Reed Photography)

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