Adoption Story: Daniel and Mae

Saying "yes" to God when He leads you down the path of adoption usually means saying "yes" to a journey filled with some twists and turns you could never have imagined. Sometimes the twists and turns bring with them beautiful surprises. Sometimes they bring with them unknowns and completely different scenery than you anticipated journeying through. But for Daniel and Mae, saying "yes" to adoption meant saying "yes" to trusting God, whatever twists and turns would come along the way.

Daniel and Mae started with their consultant way back in July of 2012. Right away they had a happy bend in the road. They put their adoption plans on hold when they found out that Mae was pregnant. Fast forward about two years later. Daniel and Mae renewed their homestudy and were ready to follow wherever God led them. 

They applied to agencies in July of 2014 and about a month later, they got the call that they had been praying for. They were matched! A brave woman had chosen them to be the parents of her baby boy, a little guy who was due in the winter. 

As they waited for the months to pass, more twists in the road kept coming; some unknowns, including some potential health concerns for the baby and the possibility of a NICU stay, loomed on the horizon. This was not what they had expected to encounter along their way. They prayed, they sought counsel from others, and ultimately they trusted God, knowing He had led them down the bumpy path exactly where they were walking.

Then, a month before their son's due date, they got another call-a huge exciting turn in the road; their son was about to be born...a month early! They rushed to make arrangements and headed to meet him, praying for him all along the way. All of the unknowns, all of the bumps and twists and uncertain terrain had led them straight to that day. Healthy and happy, this little guy ended up NOT needing a NICU stay at all!

He spent his due date at home with his daddy and mommy and siblings, being loved and adored. And all of those twists and turns along the road to their son? Mae shared with me, "I want people to hear God's story of purpose, redemption, and healing through our son's story! Our son ended up in our family from the Lord's clear leading."

The road of adoption is rarely straight but there is One who knows where He's leading. And wherever He leads, we can be sure He will be there with us all along the way!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Read More

Eddie and Anna: Finalization Day

Near the end of the summer, Eddie and Anna welcomed their son through a beautiful whirlwind adoption. You can read about their amazing story here. I am still brought to tears as I think about God's miraculous work as He answered such specific prayer requests in their adoption journey! Recently they celebrated the finalization of their little guy's adoption and shared these pictures, amazing video, and kind words with me about their experience.

Anna shares:

"You know those moments where an overwhelming peace takes over and you can't help but smile because you know you got it right? That's exactly how I felt when I first talked with Katie. It was clear that... would be the path that would lead us to one of the biggest blessings we have ever received."

"As we traveled the adoption journey, Katie was more than an adoption consultant; she was our friend, our biggest cheerleader, our voice of reason, a true testament of unwavering faith. I often return to an old email or text message from Katie to relive the moments that led us to where we are now.  I have no doubt that God used Katie in our lives to only help guide us to our beautiful son, but also to strengthen our faith in Him. We will be forever grateful for the example she provided, for the guidance that kept us going, and the expertise that helped us make decisions along the way. I am in awe of God's plan and so grateful that He led us to Katie. We are absolutely in love with our little man. It doesn’t seem real. He’s too good to be true, but that’s what God does!"

Congratulations, Eddie and Anna. You're right! God loves to do immeasurably more than we could even imagine!

------------------------------------------

Read More

He's Seven Today

I remember so many things about that day, seven years ago, when Owen was born.
Cutting toast into little squares for my adorable 13 month old who had a nasty stomach bug.
A scary stat ultrasound to check why my baby wasn't responding to the non-stress test.
Standing in Walmart trying to find CastorOil and Gatorade.
Getting a call from Hanna asking if anything was happening and grumpily telling her, "no."
Eating the meal Andrea brought, feeling sick every 2 minutes and not realizing I was in labor.
Heading to the hospital feeling extremely annoyed that Josh wasn't driving faster.
Standing at the nurses' station suffering through contractions while they sllloooowly admitted me.
Then, finally in a room, my first epidural, and not long after, a beautiful baby boy in my arms.
Joshua Owen. So sweet. So quiet. And so loved.

Today my baby turns seven. And I hope I always remember this day, too.
How we asked him how old he was and he said, "six" until he grinned, suddenly remembering!
How he beamed when he looked at his legos and got straight to work building.
How he happily let his older sister help him, side by side at the table constructing.
How he sang Christmas carols while he looked at his new toys.
How he told me this is the best day ever.

I don't take this for granted..the gift of seven years with our son. My heart hurts today knowing that so many mamas I love have not had one year or four years or more with their baby, let alone seven. So today as I'm soaking in his sevenness as a gift, I'm also praying for comfort for those whose hearts hurt, breathing in this day and thanking God for these moments I want to remember forever.

Happy 7th birthday, buddy! You are an absolute gift to us.

Read More

Happy Finalization!

You may remember me posting about CJ and Andrea's miracle story a couple of months ago. They recently sent me these BEAUTIFUL pictures of their happy finalization day and shared a bit about their adoption journey! Andrea shares in her own words below...

"We recently adopted with the help of Tracie Loux and Katie Fenska. We had never heard of an adoption consultant before starting the adoption process, but the way we discovered... was too much of a God thing to not give it a look." 

"After speaking with our local adoption agency, who said it would take us at least two years to be matched given the fact that we have three biological children, and looking at ... statistics, we decided that their services would be well worth the money in the long run." 

"As first time adoptive parents, their support and encouragement as we navigated through this new and confusing process was such a blessing."

"And that two year wait? We started our process at the beginning of April 2014 and had our sweet boy in our arms on June 27 2014."

Congratulations to your sweet family! It was such a privilege to watch God's beautiful ways unfold in your adoption journey!

-----------------------------

For more information on domestic adoption, contact me!

Read More

An Adoption Story: Mark and Amber

Mark and Amber came to their adoption consultant in May, already very worn from waiting. Nine years of waiting to become parents together and six months of that time spent waiting with a local agency where they were not having their profile shown. Understandably, they were tired and beginning to feel hopeless. But the God of hope was not done with their story.

Using our multi-agency approach, they started presenting their profile to expectant mothers, beginning to feel hope rise. And then, one month after signing on they got the call that they had been chosen!

For the next four months, Mark and Amber invested their very hearts in the man and woman who had chosen them...spending time with them, building a relationship with them, and praying for them. As is often the case with adoption, it was not without difficulty or tears. Waiting to be matched is a hard thing.  But sometimes the unknowns while you wait for that child to be born can be even more challenging.

Amber writes:

"As much as I trusted him, at times I was overcome with fear and doubt. "What if's" crept in and I could barely put one foot in front of the other. It's so easy to trust when you see the end picture but when adversity comes your way you question things. Thankfully, our God is so much bigger and more faithful than the what if's and questions because he loves us, provides for us, and works for our good."

Mark and Amber held on to the God of hope, believing that He was there with them. And then one day in September, their beautiful daughter was born.

Amber shares:

"I could write a book about the amazing providential things that occurred throughout our journey to know our daughter. I can still barely wrap my mind around it all. I am finally a Mommy and not just any Mommy, but a Mommy to an amazing child who God predestined and entrusted to us.  Oh how I have longed for that title, Praise God!"

Years of waiting. Countless prayers. And hope in a God that did not disappoint. Praise God indeed!

(Photos courtesy of Lizvette Wreath Photography)

For more information on domestic adoption, contact me!

Read More

Adoption Story: Matt and Laura

Matt and Laura's adoption journey has been a beautiful story of God's faithfulness. They had some ideas about how they thought their story might unfold, but they were committed to being open to whatever plans God had for them. They wanted His way and not their own. And His ways, as they often are, were surprising and beautiful!

In February, Matt and Laura got started with their adoption and I got to know this sweet couple as I began working on their adoption profile book. Their gratitude towards God for adopting them into His family was so evident. And so was their desire to follow His leading in their adoption journey, whatever that looked like. 

They were home-study ready near the end of June and then, less than a month later, they heard about a baby boy that would be born soon. His brave birthparents were making an adoption plan. It was a complicated situation and the details were different than what they'd envisioned...there would be sacrifice involved...a NICU stay...they would miss the first day of school for their other 4 littles ones. But Matt and Laura prayed and prayed, wanting to follow however God led. And He led them to put their "yes" on the table. They were chosen and less than a month later, their precious son was in their arms!

Laura spent many weeks away from home while they loved on their sweet son in the NICU. Adoption is not easy and the raw depth of emotions involved in a NICU stay can be so very difficult. But Matt and Laura clung to God's faithfulness and knew that their son was worth it. Here are a couple of Laura's texts to me in the long, hard days in the NICU:

"God is so faithful! God provides, and when we feel discouraged He gives us glimpses of His vast love for us if we are just willing to see them. It is just a long and hard process, but it's what we have to go through to get this precious gift healthy and home!"

"I pray that through this journey Christ's grace has shone through. I have surely been weak at times, but ultimately, because of God's grace I see His beautiful love for me as His adopted child."

"It has been amazing and beautiful and heart wrenching. I'm so thankful that God brought us on this journey."

Matt and Laura, it has been such an honor to watch you follow God's leading in your adoption journey. I am in awe of His perfect plans for your beautiful family!

For more information on domestic adoption, contact me!

Read More

Congratulations, Bob and Angela!

Bob and Angela started with their adoption consultant in March and were eager to begin! I had the opportunity to assist this sweet couple and I was able to get to know them right away through creating their profile book. Their home study was ready on June 2 and then they immediately got started applying with agencies.

They began putting their hearts on the line, presenting to potential situations and eagerly waiting for their "yes" to come. After dreaming for years about a baby, they were so ready for the difficult wait to be over.

And then, a little less than two months after they applied to agencies, they got the call that would change their lives forever. They were chosen and the baby was coming soon! About three weeks after that, the daughter that they had long dreamed of was finally in their arms. And she is truly their dream come true!

For information about domestic adoption, please contact me!

Read More

Adoption Story: Adam and Audra!

God always is doing more behind the scenes than we know. His ways are often so mysterious but He is always at work. Adam and Audra's adoption story is another example of His perfect plans unfolding in His perfect timing.

My husband "just happened" to be talking with another pastor in the area and "just happened" to mention the option of using an adoption consultant. That pastor "just happened" to be Adam and Audra's pastor and he "just happened" to pass along my contact info to them. In October last year, Audra and I got together to talk about life and adoption and in December they started with their consultant, planning to one day adopt a baby boy.

What they hoped would be a relatively quick home-study process ended up taking more time than planned...it didn't make sense and it wasn't easy. But God was working behind the scenes. On July 16 they heard about a situation and that same day their home-study was ready! They hadn't originally intended on applying to this specific agency, but they decided to go ahead and apply with them and present. It seemed perfect! But it was not the child God had for them. It didn't make sense, but God was working behind the scenes.

For the next couple weeks, Adam and Audra spent time really seeking God. He spoke very directly to their hearts about being open to whatever He had for them. And then they heard about another situation from the same agency. A little girl was going to be born soon. God's ways are often mysterious, but He is always at work. They presented. They were chosen.

Almost a month after they had applied with the agency they never intended to apply with in the first place, their daughter was born!

His perfect plans unfolded in His perfect timing. And now, Adam and Audra look at their two beautiful daughters and see what God was doing behind the scenes all that time!

For more information about adoption, please email me!

Read More

Isn't There Another Way?

Last night my mind was running through all of the paperwork for adoption grants yet to be applied to, then to all of the paperwork yet to be filled out when we apply to agencies, then to all the paperwork that I don't even know about that will likely happen after being matched with a birthmom.  As I was mentally picturing all of these papers yet to be filled out and all of the papers that we've already done, well...I felt tired.  Then I thought, "Isn't there an easier way?"

God instantly brought to mind Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, staring into the cup of God's wrath that awaited Him as He looked ahead to the cross.  And He pleaded, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”  (Matthew 26:39)  But He knew there wasn't another way.  Our sin completely separated us from God.  It was either Jesus endure incredible suffering and agony being hung on the cross, taking on God's full punishment for sin or God's children could not be a part of His family forever.  There was no other way.

I'm not trying to compare adoption paper work to the crucifixion of Jesus, believe me.  But, I think the Lord wanted to show me two things through remembering this.  First, no amount of suffering I go through compares to the suffering that Jesus went through for me.  He was still completely human while He was completely God.  So He completely felt every bit of that excruciating pain and suffering.  It wasn't lessened because He was sovereign and knew what was coming next.  And that pain?  Being utterly separated from His father and having every sinful thought, action, and word heaped on Himself, bearing the guilt and full weight of that sin even though He had never done anything wrong, and taking the punishment for it all...that is a pain unimaginable.

My weariness at all this paperwork?  It is real and it is hard but it does not compare to all that Christ went through for me.  I will never know what it's like to have every single sin of every single person put on me.  I will never know what it's like to then experience God's wrath and condemnation against all of that evil that I never actually did.  I will never know it because Jesus suffered in my place.

Secondly, adoption is not easy.  It wasn't easy for God to adopt His children into His family.  It wasn't easy for Him to send His Son to the cross.  It wasn't easy and pain free for Jesus to be crucified.  God's adoption of His children came at a great cost to Himself. Is it any wonder that there would be some hard things for us as we're in the process of adopting? 

So when I picture the paperwork that awaits me, I want to be amazed at what Jesus has done to make me God's child.  I want to stand in awe as I remember that there was no other way.  And I want to thank God that Jesus didn't give up in the midst of the hard but said, "Not my will, but Yours be done." 
-----
For information about how I can help you in your adoption journey, please contact me.

Read More

Adoption Story: Eddie and Anna.

I will never forget the first conversation I had with sweet Anna. She was on her way back from a full (and probably tiring!) school field-trip that she had chaperoned, but Anna was anything but tired. This girl was bursting with excitement about getting started with their adoption journey and she was so much fun to talk to! That same incredible enthusiasm, passion, and hope in God radiated from Anna throughout their adoption process.

Knowing that adoption had already been in their hearts for quite a while, I so hoped that Eddie and Anna would not have to wait long to have their child in their arms. I remember emailing Anna saying something like, "Not every adoption happens quickly, but I'm going to pray that God would bless you guys with a fast process!" Meanwhile, Anna was also praying that the Lord would send them a summer baby. And that's exactly what He did. His timing was perfect.

Eddie and Anna, you guys are amazing and I have loved watching God at work in and through you during this adoption. Thank you for letting me be a part of it!

-----

For more information about adoption, please contact me.

Read More

Adoption Story: John and Meghan!

One of my favorite parts of working with couples in the adoption process is creating their family profile.  I love the glimpse it gives me into their lives and it's also a lot of fun! 

While I was still working on John and Meghan's profile they heard about a baby that needed a family. My husband, Josh, and I had the privilege of Skyping with John and Meghan and praying for them as they processed the whirlwind. It was such a sweet time that I will always treasure.

This couple has an unmistakable love and commitment for one another that has been so beautiful for me to see! They walked through every part of this faith-stretching adoption together as a team. From the moment they heard about this possible situation all the way until their son was in their arms, they leaned on one another and on their faithful God. 

-------

Read More

Adoption Story: Joshua and Mary Beth!

I'm not going to pretend I understand everything about our adoption story. I especially don't know why God chose to have us walk through some heartache before wildly blessing us with our baby boy. But I do know that our tears have given me a unique blessing of the opportunity to compassionately pray for, encourage, and walk alongside couples experiencing similar adoption heartbreak. That's what initially connected me with Joshua and Mary Beth. And now their day of rejoicing has come!!!

When I got to know Joshua and Mary Beth, a couple of things struck me right away. First, their desire to love even when it hurts was unmistakable. The fact that they'd had some hard waves in their adoption journey did not keep them from opening wide their hearts to love big. And next, their determination to pray for and love their baby's birthmom was brilliantly on display. Assisting Tracie Loux in their adoption journey was an incredible privilege and I'm so thankful to know this beautiful couple. And goodness! Both of their daughters are just adorable!

Mary Beth has given me permission to share the full story from her own personal blog, feel free to pop over to “Be Joyful In All Things”.

---------------------

For more information about domestic adoption, please contact me !

Read More

Adoption Story: David and Amber!

Dave and Amy adopted their daughter a couple of months before Josh and I brought home our little guy. I was thrilled when I found out earlier this year that I'd be assisting their dear friends, David and Amber, as they began working with their adoption consultant.

As I started to get to know them through working on their family profile, I was blown away by David and Amber's selflessness. They clearly were eager to add to their family through the gift of adoption, but their focus wasn't on having a baby. Their focus was really on seeking to trust in God's timing and on loving and praying for the woman that would be their little one's birthmom. 

My faith has been strengthened so much as I watched this sweet couple walk out true Christ-reflecting love. They had a breathtaking trust in His loving plans. "We want His will to be done, whatever that may be," Amber texted me multiple times. Their story is beautiful and so is their son!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Read More

Congratulations, CJ and Andrea!

I had the great privilege of assisting CJ and Andrea in their adoption journey (alongside their adoption consultant, Tracie Loux). From my very first phone call with Andrea, I could tell that they were incredibly ready. They had prayed about adoption, talked about adoption, and thought about adoption for quite a while before starting their journey and were so ready for God to bring them their child. They really hoped that their wait would be short. And short it was!

I finished creating CJ and Andrea's family profile (the book that expectant mothers see when deciding which family they want to raise their little one) in May right before their homestudy was completed. Less than a month after they sent in their applications to agencies, they got a call about the little one that was soon to be their son.

I had the honor of praying with them over the phone the night before they flew out to meet their baby. I will never forget their sheer delight and awe at God's beautiful, mysterious ways, and I will never forget the depth of love and gratitude they expressed for their child's birthmom. Their hearts were just as full of love for her as they were full of love for their baby boy. 

CJ and Andrea, it was such a privilege to watch God's beautiful plans for your adoption story unfold.
----------------------------

Read More

Is Using An Adoption Consultant Worth The Money (Guest Post)

I am so blessed to be able to watch God work in the lives of couples pursuing adoption. Mary Beth and Josh have such hearts of love and faith. They were with their agency for a while before deciding to widen their options by starting with an adoption consultant. It's a delight for me to serve them alongside their consultant. Mary Beth kindly wrote this letter to those of you considering whether or not it's worth the money to work with a consultant.

Dear friends...

My husband and I came to to the conclusion that we had to take the adoption of our second child a step further when our home agency started offering reimbursement for families who would hire consultants. We were defeated, frustrated, and ready to grow our family. We shared our heartbreak over this process with our small group at church and immediately a friend suggested looking into... It did not take much convincing after reading the success stories and talking with Tracie.

Working with Tracie and Katie has been exactly what our hearts needed. Their level of professionalism blew us away. The adoption world holds a lot of question marks and uncertainty, but these two women find a way to answer your questions, check in frequently, and help speak to your heart during the wait. Their faith and trust in The Lord throughout the process has encouraged us and reminded us that God has the perfect baby in mind for OUR family. Without their help, I am not sure we would have endured this road to adopting our second child much longer.

If I could encourage someone who isn't sure hiring a consultant is worth the money, I would tell them absolutely positively this is the best money you can spend to help build your family. Yes, adoption is expensive. Yes, this is one more added expense, but it is the best way to go hands down. From the exposure your family receives on a weekly basis to the care and concern from the consultants, this a must for families serious about adoption. This is an investment our family made that we will never regret and 
                                                                   I hope that you can do the same.

Thank you, MaryBeth! I can't wait to see all of God's beautiful plans for your family continue to unfold.

-----------------------------------------------

Contact me at katief@christianadoptionconsultants.com for more information!

Read More

Using An Adoption Consultant : Linnea's Experience (Guest Post)

A little over a year ago, a dear friend who lives all the way in Africa sent me a FB message introducing me to another friend of hers who...go figure...happens to live in my community! Soon, I met Linnea and quickly struck up a friendship over motherhood, Jesus, and adoption. I now have the joy of serving her family on their adoption journey, alongside their amazing consultant.

Linnea kindly agreed to guest post today about her experience using an adoption consultant. Thank you, Linnea!

"If you are considering using an adoption consultant, I’d love to share about my experience with Katie and Tracie. 

As soon as we signed up, we were welcomed into an online support group with a membership that includes adoptive parents whose collective experience is invaluable for any question or concern that might come up. Plus, the consultants weigh in, too. People post questions about money, travel, birth family relationships, adoptive breastfeeding, and so much more. I’ve seen answers to questions I would not have even thought to ask. As people have posted about their experiences, I’ve gained an education as to how adoption works and what types of joys and trials I may have in my future.  I know that no matter what twists and turns come in our adoption journey, we will not be alone. And, I know there is a whole network of families that are praying for us.

The two major items every adoptive family must have to start the infamous “waiting stage” are a completed home study and a profile. Katie helped us pick an agency for our home study that aligns with our family values. We chose to create our own profile, but Katie gave us an example to use as a prototype and provided valuable feedback when we had a draft ready.

Now that we are “home study ready,” we rely on Katie and Tracie more than ever. ...has contacts and connections all over the country. Tracie uses those contacts and lets us know about situations that might match our family. She’s advised us about which agencies and lawyers are best to work with. Instead of choosing just one agency, we have our home study and profile out to three agencies and three lawyers. We hope this means we won’t have to wait as long to bring our baby home.

When you are an adoptive family, it can feel at times like you are powerless. Agencies and lawyers set out hoops and you busy yourself by jumping through them. Of course, it is very important for a woman making an adoption plan to supported and counseled. But, with Tracie and Katie, I feel like we have experts supporting and counseling us. We need that. When considering different situations, we can ask our consultants anything and discuss any concerns we have. They have been able to get information and updates for us that we would never be able to request on our own. 

The personal attention that Katie gives us has meant so much to us. She’s been through this. She knows how we feel. She’s feeling it with us again. She’s praying for us. She’s helping us. She’s rooting for us."

Thank you, Linnea! I'm so grateful to be on this journey along with you!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read More

What I Know Now and Wished I Would Have Known Then (Guest Post)

I'm so grateful to Amber for writing this guest post today! Mark and Amber are an incredibly sweet and thoughtful waiting adoptive couple. I have the privilege of serving them alongside their adoption consultant. Amber has some very helpful thoughts for those who have considered using an adoption consultant but aren't sure if it's worth it.

"What I Know Now and Wished I Would Have Known Then"

(by Amber)

It has been a 9 year journey to know God's child for us and I anticipated another Mother's Day would come and go without meeting our child.  It is one of those days that bring mixed emotions when you long to be a mother.  I passed through the hallways at church and avoided the long line where children handed out carnations to all the mothers.  Everyone who doesn't know about your journey wishes you a "Happy Mother's Day" and you graciously say "Thank You", not wanting to share the story of your longing for a child.   Although this Mother's Day we were still waiting for the baby The Lord will bless us with, we had something else, we had hope and peace.  You see, a few weeks prior we made the decision to work with an adoption consultant.

Working with them has been the best decision we have made in our journey to be parents.  What a blessing it has been working with Katie and Tracie.  After waiting 6 months with my prior agency and becoming extremely disheartened, a friend suggested that I consider a consultant.  She had used them to help bring home her beautiful baby girl and always sings their praises.  Initially, I shot down the idea thinking that it would just be more fees in an already expensive adoption process.  After all, I'd been working four jobs for many years to finance our adoption and had budgeted down to the penny.  After a little research I realized it wasn't as costly as I believed. I know now it is SO worth every cent.  I wish I would have known about them from the beginning.  I was amazed how quickly we were provided multiple opportunities to show our profile to sweet birth moms.  We finally had choices as opposed to remaining at one agency hoping and praying for that one phone call that never came.  In addition to connecting me with thoughtful agencies, the assistance I have received has been invaluable.  It’s like being enveloped with support on this beautiful, stressful, emotional, roller coaster ride they call adoption.  

Unsolicited, on this Mother's Day I received the following text message from Katie.  It stated, "I'm praying for you today, that God would comfort your heart in the painful wait to be a mommy. Praying that He would bring your child home to you soon!"  She later told me that I "already have a mother's heart of love."  Finally......someone who gets it!

Special thanks to Katie and Tracie for walking alongside us in this process and being a part of our dream.  I am forever grateful!


Thank YOU, Amber! I can't wait to watch God's beautiful plans for your family continue to unfold!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read More

The Day "T" Was Born

We stood in the hallway alone on the Mother and Baby floor, waiting for the social worker to tell us we could go in. I looked at the walls-beautiful photographs of happy babies everywhere, no signs of the heartache and loss happening right beyond the doors. In moments we would meet the woman who had just given birth to her son and had chosen our family to be his parents.

It was quiet...almost like a holy silence filled the air. I looked at Josh. He looked at me. What could possibly be said? My hands were shaking and my heart was in my throat. And then, before either of us knew what to do or what to say, the silence was over and we were told we could go in.

I will never forget her beautiful smile. We sat down and it seemed as if everything was in slow motion. My head was foggy and my voice cracked; the gravity of the moment felt too real to take in...sacred. We were about to gain one of the most incredible gifts of our lives. She was about to lose the son she had sacrificially carried for nine months.

I remember it all so clearly...how we talked and laughed and awkwardly sought to know each other. But the moment that leaves me weeping each time I think of it is this: through her big beautiful smile, she asked, "Well, do you want to meet him?" Him. Her son. Her son that she gained weight for and lost sleep for and went to doctor's appointments for and went through labor and delivery for and answered questions about for nine.long.months. Him. The baby our family had been praying for and longing for. Our son. Her son. It was the only time she would ever be able to ask someone if they wanted to meet her baby.

Now, almost two years later, I still feel undone as I think about it. It is one of the clearest glimpses of selfless love that I've ever seen.

 

* Note: photo credit: Gravity Weddings

Read More

Proud White Mama of My Beautiful Black Son

I'm a pale-skinned freckle-faced red head. (In other words, I'm about as white as you can get.) I grew up in small town America where almost everyone else was white like me. And I will be the first to admit that, though I'm seeking to learn, I don't fully "get" what it's like to be black in America.

I don't know what it's like to be judged unfairly, hated by some, misunderstood and mistreated simply because of the color of my skin. I don't know what it's like to walk around with the knowledge that some people assume I'm violent or poor or less than or uneducated or unintelligent simply because of my skin color. I don't know what it's like to experience the evil of racism first hand. I don't know what it's like because I'm white.

But I do know what it's like to be the mommy of a beautiful black baby boy.

I know what it's like to look at his beautiful brown skin and feel his warm hand in mine and wonder if my heart might burst right out of my chest with love.

I know what it's like to hold him in my arms and tell him that his skin is beautiful, that God made him black for His glory, that he is made in the image of God.

I know what it's like to sit down with my four children, watching Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech, tears streaming down my face in awe at the miracle that my family gets to look like this.

Though there are many things I don't know, there is one thing I know for sure; I know that being the white, pale-skinned mommy of my beautiful black baby boy is one of the greatest joys of my life.

Read More

About The Kids

I'm not too concerned about what everyone in the world thinks about my blog, but I do have one reader who I especially want to enjoy my posts. It's one who adores this blog and begs to read each post over and over and over again. Nope. It's not my husband. It's my sweet 7 year old! But to be honest, she's not been too impressed lately. "Mom, I still like it. But I miss you doing more stuff about us. You know?! About your kids!" And so, without further adieu, for my sweetie little bookworm, I present to you a "kid" post.

The Joyful 16 Month Old

Loves: Dancing, laughing, smiling, giving hugs, books, throwing balls, wearing/taking off hats, bananas, baths, getting into everything, chucking toys into the toilet, and climbing on top of anything and everything. 

The Little Sweetie 4 Year Old

Loves: giggling, looking at books, snuggling Mommy, playing with her baby dolls, chasing Titus, dancing, school, Doc McStuffins, yogurt, being read to by Tali, playing Legos with Owen, smiling.

The Energetic 6 Year Old Drummer Boy

Loves: drumming, sushi, Legos, sword fighting with Titus, playing with his sisters, Star Wars, Ninjago, reading the Bible with Mom or Dad, music, animals, hot sauce, football with Dad.

The Sweet and Helpful 7 Year Old Bookworm

Loves: reading, sewing, fairies, playing piano, Heidi, time with Grandma, American Girl Dolls, Star Wars, playing Barbies with Addie, reading to Owen, helping with Titus, the library, sugar, Fridays with Daddy, reading with Mommy, singing.

There you go, Sweet Girl! I hope that you enjoyed finally seeing another post about each of you cute kids.

Read More

Is Our Family Too Big To Adopt?

There are many fears and falsehoods out there about adoption such as: "I could never afford to adopt," "Is there really a need in the U.S.," "Birthmoms are scary," "My spouse will never agree," "Can I really love a child I didn't give birth to," "Do I really have what it takes," and "I'm too old." Today, I want to share about another falsehood that hinders people from adopting. It's this assumption: Our family is too big to adopt.

Can a "large" family adopt domestically? Yes! But the requirements for adoptive families vary from agency to agency. Some agencies do not let families with a certain amount of children adopt through them. But not every adoption agency works that way. If you've been told by an agency that you have too many children to pursue adoption, don't let that stop you from continuing to learn more.

It makes me so sad when I run across a family that says, "We wanted to adopt but were told by the agency we couldn't because of our family size." Not every agency has those specific perimeters! It is indeed possible for a "large" family to adopt domestically if you find the right agencies. Especially with a multi-agency approach, an adoption consultant can point you to multiple agencies and attorneys across the United States who are happy to work with "larger" families.

That may lead you to ask another question: do expectant mothers ever choose a larger adoptive family? Every expectant mom is different and so each will differ in the hopes and preferences she has for the family that will adopt her child. Some expectant moms don't prefer to place their baby in a home with any children at all, some want a home with only one or two kids, and some are not at all deterred by large families. In fact, some expectant moms specifically desire a larger family.

If God has given you a desire to adopt, please don't let the idea that your family is "too large" stand in your way! I recently had a family with seven children chosen by the very first expectant mama that they presented their profile book to. If God wants your family to bring home a child through the gift of adoption, He is able to bring that about.

For more information about domestic adoption, please contact me!

Read More