Monday, October 21, 2013

We Could Never Afford To Adopt (Adoption Fears & Falsehoods Series)

We had many questions and fears when we began considering adoption. We thank God that those obstacles didn't keep us from the gift of our sweet little boy! But those fears and questions matter-they shouldn't be ignored.  That's why I'm excited to share this series about "Adoption Fears and Falsehoods." Over the next couple weeks, I want to take a closer look at some of the main thoughts that can prevent us from actually pursuing adoption.

Money. I had to start with this one because, hands down, it's the most consistent thing I hear from families who desire to adopt but haven't pursued it:

This is pretty understandable.  Adoption is so expensive!  If you've had the idea that you'd like to adopt but feel like there's no possible way you could afford it, you're not alone.  In fact, the majority of adoptive couples have thought that very same thing. Josh and I definitely wondered how we would afford adoption before we started our journey to Titus.

I could tell you all about tons of grants available, interest free adoption loans, adoption fundraisers and other ways to fund adoption. (We received about $13,500 in adoption grants and another $10,000 through an organization where people send tax deductible gifts, thousands more in gifts from friends and family, and thousands more through our own fundraising and savings.) But if your main holdup in adopting is believing that you could never afford it, there's probably something bigger going on than just your financial situation. The heart of this fear/falsehood isn't mainly financial in nature: I think this is often an issue of priorities and faith.
We spend money on what we prioritize.  It's a rare thing for me to hear someone say, "I always wanted to buy a house but I could just never afford one." Or, "I always wanted to go to college, but I could never afford to go." Or, "I wish we could go on vacation but we could never afford to." Or, "I wish I could buy a car but I'll never be able to afford it." These things are expensive, but we don't let that keep us from them.  We find a way to do what matters to us.  We plan, we save, we take out loans, we work an extra job, we ask people for help, we trim our budget, we do whatever we have to do to find a way to fund what we care about. Why would we let fear of how the money will come in keep us from something way more valuable than a house or a car?  Why would we let it keep us from forever changing the life of a child?
I think the answer lies mostly in our view of God and ourselves. We look at the financial expense of adoption and think of it solely in terms of what WE can accomplish. But if you're a Christian then you have a God who owns everything-including all the money in the world. ("The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the Lord of hosts." Haggai 2:8) It all belongs to Him and He is in charge of it. You have a Father who loves His children. You have a Creator who gave everything that you might be adopted into His family! ("See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." 1 John 3:1) He loves adoption and He loves to provide for adoption! He will make a way to fund what He calls you to.
We began our homestudy with only a little over a thousand dollars saved.  We stand in awe at God's faithfulness to provide for our own family's adoption! I'm not saying you should jump right in and start the process with not a dime to your name or that God's gonna drop thousands of dollars in your lap the second you move forward. How and when the money comes in differs from family to family but it does come.

If the Lord is stirring your heart to consider adopting, don't stay paralyzed by your fears about finances. Don't let the falsehood that you could never afford adoption keep you from missing one of the most amazing gifts on the planet!  And if you hear someone say, "I'd love to adopt but we could never afford it," please don't just agree. Let's stop looking at what WE can do and starting thinking about what God can do!

(For more information about domestic adoption, please email me at katief@christianadoptionconsultants.com .)

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