Why Use An Adoption Consultant?

**I wrote this post back in 2012 when my husband and I were in the midst of our first adoption process before I became an adoption consultant myself. While I could share a post from my perspective as a consultant now, I love that this post shares my heart while I was actually an adoptive family using a consultant.**

About a year ago, I thought that using an adoption consultant was just plain dumb.  My thinking went something like this: Adoption is expensive and hiring a consultant is another expense.  Why on earth would someone hire an adoption consultant?  My thinking about adoption consultants has drastically changed.  I went from thinking we'd never use one to not being able to imagine our adoption journey without one.  Why?  Here are some of the many reasons that we thank God for our adoption consultant.

1) Decreasing the Risks

Domestic adoption does have risks. While all adoptions have risks, good adoption consultants help their clients sort through the level of risk involved with each situation and give invaluable information to help adoptive parents make informed decisions in their adoption journey. Adoption consultants typically work primarily with "safe states" that are adoption friendly (where consents are generally signed in 24-72 hrs). An ethical adoption consultant usually points hopeful adoptive parents to agencies and attorneys that are spending a considerable amount of time providing counseling; these agencies usually don't match the expectant mama until she's at least 20 weeks.

2) Exposure to multiple agencies and attorneys 

Working with multiple agencies helps you have more exposure to more potential adoption situations. Instead of being one family in a line with many at only one agency, working with an adoption consultant makes it possible for you to learn about more adoption situations and so have the opportunity to show your profile more frequently. Out of the hundreds of agencies and attorneys out there, it's difficult to know which are reputable. A good adoption consultant has done that legwork for you! 

3) Significant decrease in wait time

Working with only one agency means that you are most likely one of many, many clients waiting in a long line to adopt.  In a traditional approach of only working with one agency, many adoptive couples wait 2+ years or more before they are matched with an expectant mom.  Because a good adoption consultant helps you find multiple good agencies and attorneys, the wait time when you're working with one can be significantly decreased.  As in, most families are matched under a year after applying with multiple agencies. (This is just the average; some families are matched faster than that and some are matched longer than that.)

4)  Help from someone who is genuinely knowledgeable AND really understands

Most excellent adoption consultants have adopted before themselves. They know what it's like to adopt because they've been through the process (sometimes multiple times).  They are an incredible wealth of knowledge and information (which is great)!  They've helped TONS of couples adopt.  But their knowledge is coupled with a heart that has experienced the joys and challenges of adoption.  Because of that heart, they are extremely quick to respond to questions from clients (no waiting weeks to hear from them!).  Because of that heart, they pray regularly for their clients.  Because of that heart, they are a constant encouragement and help.  

5)  Benefits that far exceed the cost

Yes, hiring an adoption consultant isn't free. But in our opinion, the benefits to working with an adoption consultant have far exceeded the cost (and we aren't even matched with an expectant mom yet).  In the grand scheme of adoption expenses, it really isn't a lot to hire someone who will make a priceless difference in your adoption journey.  We've received extremely helpful answers to countless questions. We've been connected to wonderful attorneys and agencies.  We've been encouraged, supported, and prayed for every single step of the way. And we've been blessed with having someone who is really on our side (much like a midwife who coaches you all through your pregnancy, labor, and delivery).  

To be really honest, we are getting way more than we paid for with our adoption consultant.  And to think that I once thought that using an adoption consultant was ridiculous!

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Use An Adoption Consultant? Are you nuts?

When we first started looking into domestic adoption, I emailed back and forth quite a bit with a friends who had used an adoption consultant to help them as they adopted their daughter.  I remember quite vividly saying to Josh, "I just don't get it. Why would you pay extra money in what's already a super expensive process to use an adoption consultant?  Doesn't that sound kind of dumb?"  It really didn't make any sense to me.


But as time went on, we needed someone to answer about a billion questions that we had about domestic adoption.  I didn't want someone's opinion.  I didn't want someone who just wanted me to hire them.  I didn't want some random info off of the internet.  I wanted someone to talk to that actually knew what they were talking about!  I wanted someone that would care about us as individuals and not just tell us to do domestic, but to help us as we thought through what God was calling us to.  Enter, Tracie Loux our adoption consultant.

(This is Tracie, her husband, and their children)

Tracie is the consultant that had helped our friends adopt their daughter.  I figured it wouldn't hurt for me to shoot her an email.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was 9:30pm on a Saturday night, and questions were just weighing heavily on my mind and heart.  I emailed Tracie and she responded within an hour (an extremely RARE thing in the adoption world), answering all my questions, sharing helpful thoughts and saying she'd love to talk with me on Monday.  I was blown away by her care, her promptness in responding, and her desire to help.  


After two months of emailing back and forth with Tracie, talking with friends and family, praying, and talking a lot with each other, Josh and I began to get some clarity about where God was directing us.  We knew that He was leading us to pursue domestic adoption and we absolutely knew that we didn't want to enter the process without Tracie's help. So what changed?  Why don't I think it's a dumb idea anymore to use an adoption consultant? More on that tomorrow!

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