Waiting for Lightning

(For background to this post, read Part 1 and Part 2 of our "switch from international to domestic" story.)

Josh and I had lots of conversations back then that went a lot like this:
Me: "So...are you thinking we should do domestic?"
Josh: "Well, I'm not sure."
Me: "Me either.  What would have to happen for us to be completely sure?"  
Josh: "Good question.  I don't exactly know but I think we should keep praying and talking with other people about it.  The Lord will lead us."

(Photo taken by the lovely Misha Seger)

I'd like to say I left those conversations with an angelic peace and confidence that God would direct our paths. But in reality, what I really felt was frustrated with the process, confused, and antsy for God to just send us a lightning bolt message from heaven saying "ADOPT FROM _______."

So we waited.  We prayed.  We talked with family and friends and got lots of advice and counsel and prayer.  We waited some more.  I got more antsy (read: impatient and discontent!).  At some point, I emailed my friend, Christy, about my confusion.  I specifically asked her "Why in the world would God give us such a heart for transracial adoption and then bring us to this point where Africa isn't an option for us?  That just doesn't make sense."  She reminded me (compassionately) that God's ways are much higher than ours and it's normal not to understand His ways.  Then she just threw out the question, "Why not adopt two African American kids?"  Well...good question.  Why not?

I started learning more about adoption here in the U.S. and was shocked to find out how huge the need for minority adoption is. The majority of couples that seek to adopt are white and the majority of those couples want a baby that looks just like them.  But there's a vast number of minority children in need of adoption and not as many couples willing to adopt trans-racially.  (Note: I am not saying that it's wrong to adopt a white child.  Every single child deserves a family and God calls each family to different things.  If no one adopted white children, that would be awful!  This post is just about what He's called our family to.)  

My heart went out to these birthmoms, courageously choosing life for their babies yet sometimes having very few adoptive parents willing to adopt their child.  Each day, I found myself more and more excited about the idea of adopting domestically. I was ready to run full speed ahead.

Josh wasn't quite in the same place I was, though...at least not yet.  After more months filled with more talking, praying, and waiting on the Lord, we both finally agreed that it seemed like God was leading us to adopt domestically.  There had not been a lightning bolt, but it did seem that His still small voice was leading us in that direction.  So, we stepped out in faith and signed in September with Christian Adoption Consultants.  We would not have anticipated that our story would have taken this turn, but we're so glad that it has!