Adoption + The Sibling Perspective: Katie's Thoughts

May 16, 2020

Though our temptation can be to simply focus on how adoption affects our lives as adoptive parents, there are many more people's lives intricately connected and impacted when someone adopts a child. Most importantly, the adoptee themselves, as well as the child's birth parent. But another important person in the equation is a sibling whose parents have chosen to adopt. Katie was almost 15 when her family adopted the first time and 17 when they brought home her sister through adoption. I'm so glad you get to hear today from Katie about her "sibling perspective."


Did you have any fears or concerns while your family was in the adoption process waiting before your siblings were born? How did the Lord meet you in those?

When we first began the adoption process, I was honestly really excited. We did a lot of fundraisers as a family and so the excitement and momentum was high. However, in both adoption journeys, once we reached the part where our profile was being shown to birth families, I struggled with different emotions. After a few situations didn’t work out, I wrestled with the question: “Would we ever adopt a baby?” I remember a specific moment, after we had received another “no,” that my heart became angry. The tears fell and I cried out to God, “Why are you making us wait so long?”

As I look back at that moment, I am reminded how raw those emotions were. They came from a real place of pain in my heart, but it was met in the most beautiful way, as God revealed Himself faithful again and again. Now, as I look into the eyes of my brother and my sister, I realize over and over how perfect God’s plan was and is. All of those matches that fell through, all of those phone calls we missed, and all of the babies that didn’t “work out," they were all just stepping stones to the two He had for our family. And I wouldn’t trade my siblings for anyone else.

What are some things that you love about adoption and how God brought your siblings to you?

Even before we started on this journey, God placed a love for adoption within my heart. But it wasn’t until we started the process that I began to see what a beautiful picture it is of God’s adoption of us. We are orphans, who have no hope whatsoever in the world, but God comes and makes us His children. 

“But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.” Galatians 4:4-7

I also love how adoption brings people together. It can be the most amazing bridge of hope for men, women and children in need. It allows mothers (families) who are in desperate situations to be able to give life and a future to their child. The birth moms (and families) who give up their children are some of the strongest people. They are giving their flesh and bone to someone else, entrusting their child into someone else’s family. Their selflessness and love in how they choose to give their child hope is something I admire every time I hear an adoption story.

Ultimately, I stand in awe at the hand of God; you truly can’t deny that His goodness is in each and every situation. My brother’s life was on the brink of being ended through abortion, but God had a different story. My sister was unwanted, and her only hope was a life of instability through the foster system. But God had different plans. And He protected my siblings and brought them into our family in the most beautiful way. 


What do you wish people knew about adoption?

If I was sitting down with someone to talk about adoption, I would love them to see that adoption is so much more than giving a child a family. It is a tangible picture of the gospel, by which God gives you the opportunity every single day to share His love with these children, who otherwise would have no hope. Because adoption is, in one sense, a rescue mission, it is hard. There may be a lot of obstacles to overcome. There may be a lot of pain and heartbreak involved. It can be an emotional roller coaster and the financial mountain keeps growing year after year. Trauma will be involved, no matter how young the baby is when adopted. There will be people who won’t understand. However, all of this just makes the grace of God more evident. For it is the only thing that is constant in all of the ups and downs of the process. And when the time comes when the child is called by your name, it makes every tear, worth it. 

What has God taught you about Himself through the adoption in your family?

God has taught me so many things through adoption. I have witnessed His faithfulness over and over again. There were so many things that could have happened, so many outcomes that could have come into play, and so many circumstances that could have deterred us from adopting, and yet, God brought us through every valley. He provided every single penny of the $90,000+ it cost us to adopt both my siblings. He protected both of their birth moms during their pregnancies and births. And even when things went different than I had expected them to go, I can see now, that all of His ways were/are perfect. He cares for everything we walk through, even down to the tiniest details. 
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For more information about domestic infant adoption, please contact me at: katief@christianadoptionconsultants.com

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