Yes, I'm a Complainer. How Can I Change?

I'm a complainer. But I don't want to grumble, I want to honor the Lord by living a thank-based life. But how? How do I get from here to there?

"Rather than just saying to ourselves, 'I can't grumble anymore, and I'm not going to let any grumbling out of my mouth,' or just rending our garments, we need to rend our hearts. Begin with heart confession. Say before the Lord, 'Yes, Lord, I have had a complaint-based lifestyle. I want my life to be easy. I curse obstacles. I don't like moments of trust. I've tried to find life in the creation. I have forgotten my inclusion in the family of faith, and in Your presences, power, and grace.' " (pg. 52)

If we want to change, we must repent. As always, I wish there was a three step process for change and that it would take about 10 minutes and I'd be forever sanctified...but it doesn't work like that. Change takes time and it does take effort on our parts, though it ultimately happens by the power of the Holy Spirit. But it starts with honestly confessing to the Lord where we've sinned against Him and pleading for His help to change. And once we've done that, we can have faith that God will indeed help us grow in thankfulness! Why?

"'He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open His mouth (Is. 53:7).'

This is the hope of the gospel: Jesus refused to grumble, so that in your grumbling there would be forgivenesses. Isn't that precious? We ought to praise the Lord that Jesus wouldn't be a grumbler in His willingness to go silently to the cross. Embrace that hope. Jesus not only forgives: He delivers. He not only delivers: He reconciles. He not only reconciles: He restores. How can you move from a complaint-based lifestyle to a thank-based lifestyle? He has already provided everything you need for that." (pg.52)

Doesn't that just fill your heart with praise and thanks to our Savior?

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The Thank-based Life, Part 3

It's been a while, but I'm still thinking about the awesome article by Paul Tripp that I've been outlining on here. (If you missed the other posts, they start here.) I want to be a thankful Christian, not a complainer!

When we complain, we aren't living in the truth that God has sufficient grace for us. We're so busy looking at our circumstances that we fail to see the grace that covers our lives. The third aspect of the thank-based life that Tripp describes is this: it lives with a powerful awareness of God's grace.

"It is an amazing truth that where sin abounds, grace abounds even more. There is no pit so deep that Jesus can't reach deeper to get you out of it. There is no human condition, thought, word, or action that is beyond the rescuing power of the glorious grace of the Lord Jesus. Even complainers can receive grace!" (pg.5)

I want to be living aware of God's grace! There is so much to be thankful for, how can I possibly complain? No matter what my situation is, God's grace is abounding and available for me. He will help me even when I seem stuck in my sin.

Ok, so we see that grumbling isn't good and we want to be characterized by thankfulness. But does it really matter that much if we utter a little complaint every now and then? I mean, how serious is it really? Here's a quick run-down that Tripp gives of some bad-fruits that a grumbling heart produces:

(note the utter seriousness of this negative fruit)

-grumbling always blames others and, in so doing, destroys relationships
-grumbling rejects ministry (grumbling doesn't want to hear truth, because grumbling doesn't want to be comforted. Grumbling wants what it wants.)
-grumbling forgets grace because the grumbler wants to be strong, ready, and prepared
-grumbling questions the Lord
-grumbling produces rebellion (it's hard to follow someone you don't trust)

Grumbling is serious. Complaining is not a little thing because it reflects that we are discontented in our hearts. We're not satisfied with Christ. Today, I challenge myself and you to take a closer look at our hearts and see if there is grumbling present. If so, let's see the seriousness of this sin. It's a sin that Christ had to die for.

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The Thank-based Life, Part 2

Well, it happened again. Yesterday I had a raging headache, Owen was having one of his worst reflux days in a long while and the temptation to complain was looming large. I've got to keep renewing my mind here with the truth as I am all too quick to grumble. So, how can I live with a thankful heart?

The second characteristic Tripp gives for the thank-based lifestyle is that it allows us to "look at life from the vantage point of God's power." I love this because it's in direct contradiction to what I usually do-look at things through the lens of my puny little supposed power. How big is God?

"'Who measured the waters in the hollow of his hand?' (Is.40:12). Imagine that. Pour water in your hand and see how much you can hold. God can take all the water in the universe, hold it in the hollow of His hand, and it won't spill. God is the only one who has never had a counselor and never had a teacher, whereas I only say things I've learned from somebody else." (pg.50)

When I'm looking at life from the vantage point of God's power, suddenly things aren't so overwhelming. It's not just that I'm not alone; I have the all-powerful God guiding my steps. And it's pretty clear from scripture that nothing, absolutely nothing, is too hard for Him. Complaining seems a bit ridiculous when I've got this mighty God on my side.

I'm seeking to apply this when the thoughts, "This is just too hard" come into my mind. I'm trying to turn my thoughts to what's true about God instead. He is all powerful! Nothing is too hard for Him! He has given me His Spirit and that means that His power is in me! Looking at my day from the vantage point of God's awesome power at work in me? What a wonderful weapon in the battle against grumbling.

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The Thank-based Life, part 1

I'm all too familiar with what a grumbling heart looks like, but what does a thank-based lifestyle consist of? Tripp gives three reasons and the first is this: a thankful heart is one that is resting in the presence of the Lord.

If I was actively doing this on a moment to moment basis, everything in my life would be so different! When I am at home cleaning up messes, training Tali, wiping up countless spit-ups, I am doing it all in the very presence of God. When no one else sees me, He does. I am not alone trying to "get through" the day. God is with me; His Spirit is inside of me!

"My little pea brain can't imagine it, but the bible tells me that this God of glory and power has come by His Spirit to indwell me. How near is God? He is literally inside of me! The Redeemer has come and has made us His dwelling place. Therefore, we can have a renewed faith and courage and a different way of looking at life because now we look at life from the vantage point of the presence of the Lord." (pg.49)

God has not made life easy, but I am not going it alone. He is with me. Even when circumstances aren't necessarily fun, there is a purpose to them and it's about His glory and my sanctification. As I walk through my days, I can live with a thankful heart because God is with me, enabling me to do so. I am not destined to complain! The Holy Spirit lives within me and can give me grace to be thankful.

"God's work of progressive sanctification is not easy, and it was not meant to be. God is reforming us with hammers of redemption. He is turning complainers into thanksgivers." (pg.49)

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True Life & Satisfaction

Unfortunately, writing a couple of posts on grumbling hasn't made me a 100% thankful woman. And so, on with this little series!

The third point that Tripp gives for our complaint-based lifestyles is this: we seek to find life in the creation rather than in the Creator.

"It begins to believe the lie of lies from the garden of Eden-that somehow outside of the Lord I can find life. The lie is that life can be found in human acceptance, in human love, in position, and possession. In this way, I deify the creation and forget the Creator." (pg.49)

Here is what that can look like for me: in my heart I believe that true satisfaction/life comes from an orderly house, smiling children, a husband who completely understands me, a healthy family, and getting a shower in each day (I'm being serious here). When Tali dumps out MORE toys or Owen has another concerning diaper or I'm going on the third day without a shower, I start complaining. I begin thinking, "If only Tali would learn to pick up her toys on her own without me having to train her...then my day would be so wonderful." Or, "If Josh could just read my mind without me having to tell him what I'm thinking, then marriage would be so much sweeter!" Can you hear what's underneath it all? I'm looking for satisfaction & life outside of my Creator and looking for it in His creation. And when the creation doesn't give me what I want, I grumble. What does God say about this?

"The Bible tells us that the blessings the Lord gives us in this physical world are meant to hook us to a deeper sense of need. Christ gave bread to fill the stomachs of people so they would understand that their deeper need was the bread of life: deeper blessings that can only be found in Him. Romans 1:25 says we tend to exchange worship and service of the Creator for worship and service of the created thing." (pg.49)

The more I look for life in the things of this world that won't satisfy, the more I grumble. This is where change starts; I must acknowledge the fact that I complain. I seek to find life in other places instead of in the one place where true life is found-Jesus Christ. But, there is hope for change! We grumblers can become thankful worshipers of God!

Tomorrow I'll share some elements of the thank-based lifestyle.

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Why Can't Life be Like a Resort?

Yesterday, I shared about Paul Tripp's article, "Grumbling-A Look At A 'Little' Sin." Why do we complain? The first reason that Tripp gave was this: we want a life without obstacles. But, God is up to something when we face "roadblocks" in our day. God wants us to be conformed to the image of His Son, and trials are a big way that He accomplishes that work in us.

But why else do I complain? Tripp's next point is this: we want a life that doesn't ever require us to trust. We want to be capable in and of ourselves to face whatever comes our way, without needing God's help. Here's what Tripp says:

"God will cast us into situations where there's no hope for us but to trust Him, where we're beyond our strength and wisdom. Our hope is not that we will get our act together, but that a Redeemer has come and has filled us with His glory and grace."

My heart rebels against that. I don't want to have to rely on God's grace. I just want everything to be easy. I want to be able to do things in my own strength! When I'm in a situation where I know I'm too weak to handle it on my own, I want out of the situation. In my pride, I don't want to have to trust God! But...

"His grace is sufficient; His strength is made perfect in weakness. However, I am scared to death of the delusions of human strength that would keep me from relying on the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm not smart enough to parent my kids. I'm not wise enough to be a good husband. My life balances on a lively trust in the Lord who has come." (pg.49)

Amen. One huge reason that I complain is because I don't want to be in situations where I have to trust God. But in reality, I can't do anything in my own strength. I need His help for everything! My entire life is dependent on His grace.

Tomorrow, I'll share about the third reason Tripp gives for our complain-based lifestyles: we seek to find life in the creation rather than in the Creator.

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Why Can't Everything Be Easy?

I've been freshly aware of how quick I am to complain after re-reading one of my all-time favorite JBC articles: "Grumbling-A Look At A 'Little' Sin." I've probably read this article 10 times but it never gets old. In it, Paul David Tripp talks about the Deut. 1:19-35 passage where Israel was complaining against God so grievously that He swore that they would not enter the promised land. That section of scripture alone shows that grumbling is a pretty serious thing.

Here are some things that I find particularly helpful from the article:

"Why do we complain? First of all, we want a life without obstacles. Can you relate to that? We want kids that are self-parenting. We believe that God actually made a mistake in marriage, that sanctification was supposed to be completed before marriage, not after. We want fully glorified people to be in our lives." (pg.48)

"It doesn't take much to spoil our day. For some of us, a flat tire will do it. We want an obstacle-free life." (pg.49)

Um, anyone relate? I know that I do. I really don't like it when something "gets in my way" of what I want from my day. Be it a crying child, a mess I need to clean up, or the inability to find my keys, obstacles aren't something I enjoy. So, why do we have to have any obstacles in this life? What's the point?

"God wants obstacles in your life for some very important reasons. Those obstacles are His primary way of completing His work in you. God is not done with you yet. He is doing something awesome. He's taking us poor sinners and conforming us to the image of His Son." (pg.48)

"But a complaint-based life doesn't want obstacles. It doesn't see the value of obstacles. It wants life to be a resort." (pg. 49)

Yep folks, that's me! I still have days where I think, "Seriously. Why can't things just be like they were in Maui back on our honeymoon? What I wouldn't give to be sitting by the beach, listening to the waves, having Josh all to myself, with awesome food for dinner, able to sleep in late. Is that really too much to ask for?" :) I really want life to be a resort. But, um...wake up call: it's not! I need to start seeing the value of obstacles if I am going to be characterized by gratitude towards God.

More from this helpful article tomorrow (or whenever I actually get to it!).

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