38 Weeks and Counting

As of Sunday, I am now 38 weeks pregnant and anxiously awaiting the arrival of the little guy (aka: Joshua Owen, or Connor). I feel so good that it's hard to believe that soon we'll have another little baby here. Last year with Tali, I felt wretched so all I could think about was the upcoming birth, looking forward to seeing the fruit of all the aches and pains. This time, it all seems surreal and I can even forget that a big thing is about to occur.

A part of feeling so good has been thinking that I can do whatever I want rather than resting. This has led to packing my schedule tighter than might be helpful. I was thinking this morning that if others looked in and saw all that we've had going on, they might either think that I am absolutely crazy or think that I must really have it together to be able to do so much. Let me go on record as saying that I very well might be crazy and I in no way have anything "all together." The fact is that I couldn't be serving in any way at all without the Lord's grace and mercy, my husband's care, and the invaluable help that my parents give me. I am so blessed to be receiving so much help! For example, in preparing for a meeting last week the Lord gave me peace and I didn't feel frazzled to make things just perfect. My parents vacuumed, cleaned bathrooms, cooked for me. Yesterday my husband did numerous projects and even mopped the floor! Anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge that there's nothing great in me to be impressed by; far from it! I am just receiving a lot of help and that is a gift from the Lord.

And still, amidst all of the help and care, I can lose focus and joy. I can quickly forget the gift that it is to be able to serve and start thinking about myself. I become overwhelmed thinking, "how am I ever going to be ready for this baby to come when I've got so much going on?" While it's true that I do need to be prioritizing rest a bit more, it's even more true that I need to trust God. He is always faithful and He will not stop being faithful, whatever the circumstances may be. So if I don't get some newborn diapers bought or the car seat cleaned or my hospital bag packed, it will not be the end of the world. God has all ready met my greatest need in sending Jesus to save me from His wrath. How will He not also, along with Him, graciously give me all things that I need? That is the truth that I want to rest in today.