The other morning I woke up after another night of interrupted sleep feeling no desire to get out of my warm bed and be a mom. Tali woke up extra early after Addie had just fallen back asleep and the needs of the day started calling from every room. "I want Mommy!" Addie woke up again and started crying, wanting to be fed. Owen began crying in his room too. I immediately started complaining. I think I said something to Josh like, "I just don't want to do this again today. I want to retire from this job. There's nothing fun about it right now. I am so tired I just don't think I can do this today."
Lack of sleep really can distort my view of reality. In that moment, everything was too hard, too much, and no relief was in sight. God really wasn't anywhere in my mind. My thoughtful husband encouraged me to try and rest a bit longer while he cared for the kids. With all the crying going on, I couldn't sleep so I tried to pray. God kindly brought to my mind this truth: when I'm serving, I'm reflecting Jesus who came not to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). That is a worthwhile and beautiful thing, hard as it may be.
That's the truth I've been trying to meditate on when things get "hard" and I'm tired. It is such a fight to fix my mind on what's true here, but it's worth it. God's using His Word to change the way I relate to the kids. Instead of looking for some rest and resenting them for interrupting me and my relaxation, I'm finding joy in knowing I'm reflecting Christ as I serve them. There aren't many jobs where you serve 24 hours a day. It's a privilege to serve my kids as a stay-at-home mama. I get the opportunity to reflect Christ's life to my babies and to the world as I serve them day in and day out.
All you tired mommies out there, take heart! You are pleasing the Lord and reflecting Jesus as you humbly serve your families.
Lord, help me to remember that in the moments when serving doesn't seem so appealing.
"And He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sakes died and was raised." 2 Cor. 5:15
Ahhh...the constant struggle for moms. It helps me to meditate on those passages where God compares Himself to a mother. It helps me to know that my job is the most Christ-like thing I can do.
ReplyDeleteSo much humility is needed! The thought that I am in anyway deserving of anything more is ridiculous!
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:5-11
I pray that our babies' knees would someday bow to this Jesus as He made the knees of their Mommies bow years ago.
Keep up the hard, but great work!
Excellent post Katie! I appreciate how succinctly you put what you are struggling with and then the couple specific truths that you are applying from God's word. May God continue to give you grace as you work on your heart in this important area!
ReplyDeleteFighting the fight with you :)
Ahh, what a great reminder, especially right now as I'm face to face with the all-nighters again!
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